


I Was Doing Just Fine Before I Met You.

by punksmasher21



Category: All Time Low (Band)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, teen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:42:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 39,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29087052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punksmasher21/pseuds/punksmasher21
Summary: I sniffled, pulling my knees up to my chest loosely to rest my chin. Sighing heavily, I ignored the water continuing to flow down my face and cringed at the regret swarming my gut. Regret for letting my best friend's peer pressure get to me. Regret for being my awkward anti-social self. Regret for lying to my mother. Regret for taking that first sip that lead to many more."I didn't know this would happen, Jay." Parker whispered, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "Honestly. I didn't-""Expect me to give my virginity to Alex fucking Gaskarth?" I whimpered, looking over to my shaking hands."Do you want me to get Cass? Or Lynn?" He asked softly, running his hand up and down my arm soothingly.I sighed, leaning back into the cold bathtub behind me. I tightened my forearms over my knees, staring ahead into the white cupboards under the bathroom sink through my blurred vision. Slumping, I nodded my head lightly."I'll be right back." He promised, kissing the top of my head as he jumped to his feet. "Everything's going to be okay."
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

_I sighed nervously, cringing at the pounding in my head due to the loud volume of music blasting into my eardrums. Biting my lip, I kept my gaze down in the red solo cup tucked into my right hand while I traced the top with my left pointer finger. I watched the clear content wave from the slight shaking caused by my hands and slowly eased back into the nearest corner.  
  
"Hey."  
  
I jumped, looking up in shock only for my eyes to widen more when they landed on the owner of the voice. I closed my open mouth, heat rushing to my cheeks when I met light brown eyes. I bit my cheek, awkwardly waving back knowing my voice wouldn't work. He chuckled, the sound making my stomach flip with nerves and I found myself drawn to the silver hoops through his bottom lip.  
  
"Why're you in a corner, dude?" He slurred slightly, leaning down more to my level.  
  
I swallowed thickly, trying not to gag at the smell coming off of his breath. Shrugging shyly, I looked away from his lips and down his white t-shirt covered chest. My gaze immediately trailed over his toned arms, warmth filling my gut at the dark ink coating both of his arms before my eyes fell to his ripped jeans.  
  
"Backed into a corner _and _a full cup?" He continued making my heart rate quicken at the small distance between us.  
  
I blushed, backing further into the wall when his thumb nudged my jaw up. I gulped, watching the corner of his eyes crinkle when he laughed. Taking a step back from me, he pulled the cup from my hand and brought it to his own lips.  
  
"Shit." He whistled, swallowing hard. "Straight up? You don't play around."  
  
I cringed at the slight grimace he made, making me wonder what my drink even tasted like. Leave it to Parker to give me something totally strong and disgusting for my first time drinking. I shook my head, crossing my arms over myself self-consciously while I shyly looked back up at him.  
  
"My friend poured it." I revealed, biting my lip at the slight shake in my voice. "I don't really. I'm not a drinker."  
  
"Let me make you something." He suggested, sending me a wink. "I promise you'll dig it."  
  
"Why do you care?" I blurted, feeling my face flush more at the amused expression taking over his face. "I mean, why do you want to make me a drink? I'll probably still hang out in this corner until my friends are ready to leave..."  
  
"Parties are for getting fucked up." He shouted, wrapping his long fingers around my skinny forearm as he pulled me through the crowded house._  
  
I shot up, stumbling out of my bed and into the bathroom next to my closet. Flicking the light on, I ignored the burning of my eyes and dropped to my knees. Forcing the seat up, I nearly plunged my face into the toilet just in time for everything in my stomach to come back up. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, trying my best to block out the smell as I retched harshly.  
  
"Ugh." I panted miserably, wiping my mouth with some toilet paper and tossing it in as I flushed the mess down.  
  
Coughing, I swallowed thickly and slowly stood back to my feet. Breathing heavily, I pressed my hands into the cold white marble of my bathroom counter and felt tears fill the corners of my eyes. I heaved a sigh, staring straight back into my reflection as I blindly grabbed for my toothbrush. Sniffling, I attempted to blink the tears away and busied myself with squirting some mint flavored toothpaste on to my red toothbrush. I wiped at my eyes with my palms before hurriedly scrubbing the disgusting aftertaste out of my mouth the best I could.  
  
Switching the faucet on, I rinsed the toothbrush off before I grabbed the small blue cup from beside the sink. After filling it up, I turned the water off and sucked in a big gulp. Once I shook it around a bit, I spit and wiped my mouth over my forearm with a grimace. Clearing my throat, I set the cup back down and felt my gaze subconsciously search the small counter top. I froze, the small white and purple stick coming into my line of vision. I squinted, watching the dark pink lines blur into large specs when water overflowed my eyelids.  
  
"What the hell am I going to do?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story WILL contain mentions and descriptions of things that could be triggering! Abuse, drugs, self-harm...ect.
> 
> All chapters containing anything of the sorts will have a trigger warning before the chapter starts!

_Have you heard the news that you're dead?  
No one ever had much nice to say  
I think they never liked you anyway  
Oh, take me from the hospital bed  
Wouldn't it be grand to take a pistol by the hand?  
And wouldn't it be great if we were dead?  
_  
  
I slumped back in my seat and let my gaze lift up to the large clock nailed into the dirty white wall. Seeing the big hand just inches away from the one had me sighing heavily and frowning at the reminder of another hour and a half left in this dump. Sitting up straight, I leaned my forearms on my desk and bobbed my head lightly to the music playing softly through my headphones. Mr. Ralph looked up from his desk, giving me a wide smile before he turned and did the same to Kelly across the room from me. Blushing, I dropped my gaze down to the closed notebook on my desk and hoped he wouldn't call us out for getting the only two perfect scores on last weeks exam again.  
  
"Alright class, listen up!"  
  
I gulped, staring at the blue and green stripes coating the cover of the three-subject book. Butterflies flopped around my stomach and I felt a strong churn in my gut.  
  
"Class is dismissed a few minutes early." He announced. "See you tomorrow!"  
  
I sighed with relief, feeling my shoulders relax instantly as I slipped my notebook off of the desk and into my dark grey messenger bag. Licking my lips, I grabbed my pencil and phone before scooting out of the metal chair. Biting my lip, I let my ears focus back on the quiet music while I rushed out of the class just as fast as everyone else.  
  
I shoved the long strap of my bag over my shoulder and held it close to my chest as I pushed through the crowds taking over the wide hall. Turning the nearest corner, I clutched my phone tighter in my hand and rushed over to my locker. I shoved my phone into my jeans and spun the combination of my lock within seconds, popping the door open easily.  
  
"Jacko!"  
  
I jumped, feeling my earbuds get yanked out of my ears after the loud yell came from beside me. Blinking my wide eyes, I looked over and found a very familiar grinning face leaning against the locker next to mine. I rolled my eyes, pulling my phone back from my pocket and wrapping my white headphones around it nicely.  
  
"Hey Parker." I greeted calmly, zipping my phone in the front pocket of my bag before I flipped it open to take my math books out.  
  
"What do you say we cut History and chill at Pizza Hut?" He suggested, watching me stack the books back on the top shelf with the others.  
  
I slumped my shoulders, nervous butterflies flipping through me at the thought of skipping class. Biting my cheek, I kept my gaze glued to the thick history book pressed into the right side of the locker while I held my bag open with my free hand.  
  
"C'mon, Jack." He pleaded, leaning closer to me. "We're only watching that world war video. You won't miss anything."  
  
I frowned, reluctantly looking over to see his pouty face. I stared into his widening hazel eyes and scowled at the obnoxious puppy face he's pulling on me once again.  
  
"Don't do that." I warned, feeling a weird anxious feeling fill the pit of my stomach. "The last time you did that face you pressured me into going to that stupid party."  
  
"A stupid party that got you to loosen up enough to have some real fun." He retorted, dropping the innocent face with an eye roll. "You can't deny you didn't love that night. I don't know why you won't go out again."  
  
I bit my lip in attempt to fight the blush from rushing to my cheeks while I let out some kind of awkward cough. Swallowing thickly, I tried to push the uncomfortable guilty feeling filling my gut away at the memories clouding my mind.  
  
"There you go again acting all fucking weird." He commented, sort of bringing my attention back to him. "Why do you get like this every time one of us brings it up?"  
  
"Because you pressured me into something I didn't want to do." I blurted, biting my cheek. "You made me lie to my poor mother."  
  
"Your mom was busy phone sexing your dad while he was on his business trip and you know it." He scoffed, pushing my locker shut.  
  
I pulled my hands away just in time to escape getting my fingers smashed and felt a grimace coat my lips.  
  
"Ew, don't say that." I shuddered, crossing my arms in my chest. "And I never said I wanted to go to Pizza-"  
  
"You're going." He decided for me, pulling my away from my locker by the long strap over my chest.  
  
"Parker!" I scolded, struggling to keep up with his fast pace towards the main exit to the parking lot. "You're pressuring me again."  
  
"Live a little!" He exclaimed. "Have some real fun like you did two months ago."  
  
I sucked in a breath, swallowing the urge to blab my memories of that party as I got dragged through the parking lot.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
"Oh my God." I coughed, grabbing the closest napkin and practically throwing the silverware on the table in order to cover my nose.  
  
I blinked hard, feeling water build up in the corners of my eyes while thick saliva piled towards my teeth and the tip of my tongue. Swallowing loudly, more spit piled in my mouth and I felt my stomach lurch.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Cassadee laughed from across from me.  
  
I stared back at her wide green eyes, barely able to hold in my look of disgust when I watched her shove a mouthful of pizza into her bright pink lips. I held my breath, feeling my stomach churn more harshly when my eyes flickered over to Lynn pulling a long string of cheese attatched to a pepporoni into her own mouth.  
  
"Let me out." I demanded, digging my elbow into Parker's side when the greasy-cheese smell got to be too much.  
  
"Wha-"  
  
"Get up!" I said more forcefully, coughing hard into the napkin.  
  
He stared at me in shock, hurriedly slipping from the booth to let me out. I whimpered, feeling spit slip from my lips as I scooted out of the small booth. Ignoring everyone around me, I rushed to the bathroom and shoved the nearest stall door open just as my lunch from earlier burned it's way back up my throat. I gagged, cringing at the chunks and brown color due to the chocolate milk I had earlier. The sight made me retch harder, water slipping from my eyes due to the lack of air getting into my lungs.  
  
"Christ, Jack!" Parker gasped, pressing his hands into my back soothingly as I calmed down. "What the hell?"  
  
"I felt sick." I panted, wiping my mouth with some tissue and dropping it in.  
  
"I can see that." He stated, kicking the flusher for me as I leaned against the cool wall. "What happened?"  
  
"I dunno." I mumbled, feeling my head ache. "I smelt the pizza?"  
  
I sniffed, tucking my hands into the sleeves of my red hoodie before I held my arms out pathetically. I ignored his weird look, wiggling my hands a bit until he grabbed hold of my wrists. He pulled me up easily, patting my back softly once I was standing up on my own.  
  
"You eat pizza all the time." He mentioned, leading me out towards the sinks.  
  
I hummed, furrowing my eyebrows while I rolled my sleeves up. I frowned, turning the water on and squeezing some soap into my palm before wetting my free hand. I rubbed my hands together slowly, making sure to coat them both in soap before I rinsed them off. Once I made sure all the suds were gone, I scooped a handful of water into my mouth and gargled a little. Spitting softly, I switched the water off with my elbow and held my hands over the sink until Parker handed me some paper towels.  
  
"You're right." I pointed out slowly, drying my hands as good as I could with the few cheap towels.  
  
Wiping my mouth, I tossed them into the open trash can and shrugged. Clearing my throat, I took a deep breath and frowned when my stomach remained feeling queasy.  
  
"You should've let me go to history." I whined, following him back out of the bathroom.  
  
"Like I should've let you stay home from that party?" He joked.  
  
I coughed awkwardly, crossing my arms over my stomach self-consciously while I slipped back into my seat. Lynn and Cass immediately stopped talking and turned to look at me like I had three heads.  
  
"There you fucking go again, Jack." Parker commented incredulously, nudging my elbow. "What the hell?"  
  
"What the hell what?" Lynn jumped in, brushing her long hair over her shoulder before she leaned forward on her elbows.  
  
"He's acting all weird." Parker accused, pointing his finger at me.  
  
"No I'm not." I argued weakly, feeling the warmth creeping up my neck when Cass squinted over at me.  
  
"You are." She said suspiciously. "What did you do?"  
  
"I didn't do anything." I answered quickly, grabbing my glass of water.  
  
"He didn't do anything, Parker." Cassadee repeated, rolling her eyes dramatically. "Are you okay though?"  
  
"He acts so weird every time I talk about that party we got him to go to!" He continued, ignoring her completely.  
  
"I'm fine." I answered, sending her a small smile. "Just felt sick."  
  
"Probably because we dragged him there and he didn't wanna go." Lynn giggled, giving me an unapologetic smile.  
  
"Jeez Parker, Andrew's party was two months ago and you're still going on about it?" Cassadee continued, leaning her chin on her hand lazily.  
  
"Because it was the craziest one yet." He scoffed, pointing his thumb at me. "It was so crazy Jack was even drunk!"  
  
"Okay, please stop talking about it." I blurted, ignoring the eyebrow raises from around the table. "I uh...it makes me feel guilty thinking about it. You know? For like. Lying to my mom and yeah."  
  
"Aw, Jacky." Lynn cooed. "You Momma's boy."  
  
"Shut up." I scowled, leaning back in my seat with a huff.  
  
"A Momma's boy and a Teacher's Pet." Parker teased, crunching on a bread stick. "The boy who does no wrong and in result has no life!"  
  
I glared at him, feeling my mood drop considerably from the jokes I usually don't find offensive. Today is different I guess because those comments really pissed me off. If I was a complete Momma's boy I wouldn't have let him talk me into going to that party that changed my whole life. I wouldn't have had my first taste of alcohol and I sure as hell wouldn't have let anything go up my ass, but here I am now after doing both of those things.  
  
"Aw, Jack." Lynn cooed, nudging my ankle under the table. "He's only joking."  
  
"I don't care." I muttered, dropping my gaze to the empty space of the table in front of me.  
  
"Don't be like that, you know I love you." He complained, leaning on my side.  
  
"Get off me, Parker." I groaned, moving to press myself more into the wall. "I don't feel good and you're sitting there insulting me."  
  
"Don't be so dramatic." He chuckled, giving me some space.  
  
"Can you take me home?" I asked, dropping my attitude when my stomach lurched. "I think I'm gonna be sick again soon."  
  
I frowned, taking another slow sip of my water in attempt to keep my stomach calm. Breathing deeply, I sat up straighter and gave the girls a small smile to let them know I'm over the stupid teasing.  
  
"Yeah, okay." Parker agreed, patting my back.  
  
"I was about to force Cass to the mall with me anyway." Lynn informed.  
  
"For what?" Cass asked curiously.  
  
"Sexy clothes." Lynn answered, slipping from the booth. "Call me later, Jacky."  
  
"Yeah, I hope you feel better." Cass added, giving me another smile.  
  
"I will." I told quietly, following Parker out of the booth.  
  
I ignored the twisting in my tummy and allowed myself to be pulled into two tight hugs before we all made our way to the cars. I watched Cass and Lynn get into their car before I climbed in the passenger side of Parker's van. I giggled a little, buckling myself in while he started it up.  
  
"What's so funny?" He wondered, smiling as he backed out.  
  
"I feel like we're soccer moms." I joked, patting the large dashboard of the mini-van. "Every time we drive in your mom's car."  
  
"That's what I hate about this car." He groaned. "Everyone laughs at it and it makes me look like a damn mom when I'm not no mommy."  
  
"You could be." I smirked, glancing over to see him shake his head frantically.  
  
"Hell no." He retorted. "No dude is going up my ass, no offense. That's your thing."  
  
I giggled, relaxing back in my seat while he drove out on the main road. I sighed in content, sitting still when I realized my stomach stopped feeling funny. I hummed, poking it gingerly to see if anything hurt only to feel a hard spot.  
  
"What the..." I mumbled, pressing more fingers into the spot.  
  
"What is it?" Parker laughed.  
  
I shrugged, biting my lip in wonder. Moving my palm over the spot, I felt it take over most of my lower stomach.  
  
"You know, thinking about kids." He went on, pulling on to an unfamiliar side street. "I can't even imagine being a dad myself. That's why I always wrap it up."  
  
I went to nod only to freeze when his words registered in my mind. Gasping I choked on my spit and sent myself into a loud coughing fit.  
  
 _"Just fuck me!" I gasped, tilting my head to give more access to my neck. "Please fuck me."  
  
"Yeah?" He asked huskily, nibbling my ear. "Gotta find a condom-"  
  
"Just get in me." I whined desperately, trying to rush things before I could chicken out. "I'm clean and-"  
  
"Fuck yeah."_  
  
" **Jack.** "  
  
I hit my chest, feeling my heart pound in my ears while blood rushed to my face. I breathed deeply, feeling my fingers fist in the front of my own hoodie while my crazed gaze met Parker's worried face.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?" He demanded, grabbing my left forearm.  
  
"I need. I think I'm. Oh God!" I stammered, feeling panic rise beneath my skin.  
  
"Calm down!" He called, squeezing my hand. "What are you? What's going on?"  
  
I opened my mouth, feeling it close over and over again like a stupid fish flopping out of water. Memories flooded my mind, my cheeks burning up within seconds as I heard myself crying out and begging for more. I closed my eyes to avoid Parker's and felt my stomach churn with a whole new purpose.  
  
"Jack!" Parked exasperated. "You're freaking me out!"  
  
"I slept with Alex Gaskarth at Andrew Linkon's party." I blurted loudly, keeping my eyes pried shut to avoid his facial expression.


	3. Chapter 3

"Um. Is this really happening?"  
  
I bit my lip anxiously, flickering my gaze from the purple hand towel thrown carelessly over my bathroom counter over to the remaining look of shock across Parker's pale face. I clicked my tongue, feeling my fingers twitch as I clasped my hands together over my crossed knees.  
  
"Shut up." I mumbled, dropping my gaze to the rough material of my skinny jeans. "I can't think right now."  
  
"You..." He trailed off, almost sounding breathless. "Oh shit, Jack."  
  
I looked up with wide eyes, cringing when I noticed him holding the short white stick awkwardly between his fingertips.  
  
"No." I choked out, feeling my heart pound in my rib cage as he stared down at the screen. "Parker-"  
  
"It's positive." He revealed, looking down to me with his mouth open. "Very clearly positive."  
  
I sucked in a quick breath, feeling my eyes burn as they welled with water. Rolling my quivering lips together, I looked up a little when he flipped the little stick towards me. I swallowed thickly, barely looking over the bold lines before I dropped my gaze back to my legs.  
  
"Oh God." I whimpered, bringing my hands up to cover my face.  
  
"Um. I would say more than oh God, Jack!" He exclaimed, making me flinch. "You have a fucking fetus growing inside of you! Why the fuck am I just now finding out that you slept with someone?"  
  
I sniffled, dramatically sliding from my place on the toilet to the cold tile floor beneath me. Wiping underneath my eyes, I tried to keep my breathing normal at the realization washing over me. Why I've been so tired. Why I've been agitated easier than normal. Why my stomach is weird. Why I feel so sick and tired lately. It's all explained now and I should've known as soon as it happened. I should've known after knowingly not using a condom.  
  
"Jack-"  
  
"You made me go to that stupid party!" I blurted, scooting over to lean on my bathtub. "You guys all left me! You left me and...and-"  
  
"I left you for five minutes to flirt with Hailey and you said you'd be fine." He interrupted, squatting down next to me. "I didn't know you were gonna find a room with that...that fucking asshole that doesn't know how to use condoms apparently!"  
  
I sniffled, pulling my knees up to my chest loosely to rest my chin. Sighing heavily, I ignored the water continuing to flow down my face and cringed at the regret swarming my gut. Regret for letting my best friend's peer pressure get to me. Regret for being my awkward anti-social self. Regret for lying to my mother. Regret for taking that first sip that lead to many more. Regret for letting myself do things without thinking them through.  
  
"I didn't know this would happen, Jay." Parker whispered, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "Honestly. I didn't-"  
  
"Expect me to give my virginity to Alex fucking Gaskarth?" I whimpered, looking over to my shaking hands.  
  
"Do you want me to get Cass? Or Lynn?" He asked softly, running his hand up and down my arm soothingly.  
  
I sighed, leaning back into the cold bathtub behind me. I tightened my forearms over my knees, staring ahead into the white cupboards under the bathroom sink through my blurred vision. Slumping, I nodded my head lightly.  
  
"I'll be right back." He promised, kissing the top of my head as he jumped to his feet. "Everything's going to be okay."  
  
I sighed heavily, shaking my head to myself while he slipped through the cracked open door. How could he think everything is going to be okay? I'm seventeen years old and barely even done with half of senior year. I'm supposed to graduate with honors. I'm supposed to get a full-ride to college. I'm supposed to be focusing on homework and applications, not sleeping with guys at parties I'm not supposed to go to.  
  
I jumped at the sound of footsteps pounding through the house, looking over to the bathroom door just in time for it to slam into the wall from getting shoved open so fast. Cassadee flew towards me, eyes wide in shock with Lynn hot on her heels. She brushed her hair behind her ears and grabbed the test from the sink before dropping to her knees in front of me.  
  
"Holy shit, you weren't kidding!" She exclaimed, looking over me before turning her head towards Parker.  
  
"Why would I joke about this?" He scoffed, closing the bathroom door behind him. "This is a fucking crisis, Cassadee! He's impregnated by that fucking bastard!"  
  
"He's not so bad." I defended weakly, wiping at my cheeks.  
  
"Yeah, he's just an asshole and kind of a whore." Lynn added, getting comfortable by my right side.  
  
"Don't defend him. He used you." He frowned.  
  
I rolled my eyes, heaving a sigh when my stomach flipped anxiously.  
  
"Okay, pause." Cassadee instructed, forcing all of our attention on her. "How the hell did this even happen?"  
  
"We all know how it fucking happened." Parker answered sarcastically from his side of the small room. "I left him on his own for two minutes and he got played."  
  
"Obviously." Lynn retorted, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. "I didn't know you had it in you, Jacky. I didn't think you were into tattoos. Or piercings. Or Alex Gaskarth in general."  
  
I scowled, feeling a new wave of stress wash over me at their comments. I knew they would think differently of me and I definitely didn't want them knowing I lost my virginity like this. I flinched, keeping my gaze glued to the purple hoodie blocking my view of the cupboards underneath my bathroom sink when the cool sensation of a wipe swiped over my chin. I let out a huff, not fighting the way the thick material scrubbed across my mouth as Cassadee felt the need to clean my face.  
  
"Just take a deep breath." She cooed, dabbing at the corners of my lips one more time before she knelt back in front of me. "You're okay."  
  
I sucked in a breath, shaking my head as I tucked my shaking hands in between my knees and chest. This doesn't even feel real. I can't believe this is actually happening to me.  
  
"This is not okay." I stressed, running my hands through my hair. "I'm. Oh God, guys. My dad is going to kill me and my mom is going to be so pissed! I can't be pregnant at seventeen!"  
  
"Jack, calm down." Lynn called, snapping me out of my panicking. "You're freaking out over no reason. This happens all the time. I can talk to Chelsea about getting you in?"  
  
I licked my dry lips, furrowing my eyebrows together in annoyance. How can she tell me to calm down when I'm going through a real life crisis as Parker put it. I managed to get myself knocked up in my last year of high school! Nothing is going to be okay. How am I even going to get into college?  
  
"I can't raise a baby." I blurted, running my hands over my face. "I can't do this!"  
  
"Jack!" Lynn scolded, grabbing my wrists. "I said I'd get Chelsea to squeeze you in so stop panicking."  
  
"Yes!" I choked out once it registered in my head, shooting my hands out to wrap around her forearm.  
  
"Jack, you need to think about this." Cassadee suggested, brushing my bangs out of my eyes.  
  
"He doesn't need to think about it." Parker argued, coming to my defense. "He needs to do what he needs to do-"  
  
"You can't just get an abortion." She interrupted softly, running her fingers through my hair.  
  
"I can't have a baby, Cass!" I hissed out, feeling my eyes sting once more. "Who knows what my parents would do to me if they knew! I'm supposed to be getting straight A's for college, not getting knocked up a party!"  
  
"This is a life, Jack!" Cass exclaimed incredulously, moving to hover in front of me. "A life that isn't just your's to decide to throw away-"  
  
"That fucking asshole obviously just wanted a fuck out of him." Parker stated, making my stomach drop. "It's obvious he won't care about it and this is Jack's decision. It's his body."  
  
I frowned, feeling a small twinge of guilt hit me at the thought of just taking the easy way out. Swallowing hard, I crossed my arms back over my knees. Why am I feeling guilty about making this choice? Parker's right. It's not like he would care. He got what he wanted from me and hasn't talked to me sense. The more I think about it, the more it hurts because he really did just want to have fun with me and now I'm pregnant with his baby. A baby he wouldn't be around for, so why should I have to deal with it?  
  
"I'm doing it." I whimpered out, ignoring Cassadee's look of disappointment while I turned towards Lynn. "Call her up."  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
I bit my lip, tucking my hands in the long sleeves of Parker's grey Adidas hoodie. Sucking in a deep breath, I crossed my arms tightly over my chest and shuffled my feet just a few more inches over the dusty floor. My stomach flipped harshly due to the nerves bubbling in my gut and I shuddered, shaking my head and turning to go right back where I came from.  
  
"Ah ah." Lynn scolded, holding on to my arms to hold me in place. "You want to do this, trust me."  
  
"I'm scared." I admitted, letting out a quiet whimper when a bigger group of butterflies flopped around my insides.  
  
Letting out a shaky breath, I let my gaze leave Lynn's and wonder around the waiting room. I gulped lightly, taking in at least ten girls and three boys that had to be round my age. Some of them had nervous boyfriends with them and other looked like they had supportive mothers.  
  
"It's going to be fine." Lynn whispered, nudging me back towards the empty row of ugly green chairs I was originally heading towards.  
  
I sighed heavily, feeling like a little bit of the weight lifted from my shoulders once I planted myself in the hard cushioned seat. Crossing my legs, I folded my hands over my knees and tried to relax the somersaults going on in my gut. Why am I so nervous?  
  
"Really try to stop worrying, Jay." She cooed, rubbing her hand up my arm soothingly. "Chelsea said you won't feel anything."  
  
I jumped, looking over to the golden brown door blocking our view from all of the different offices. A blonde haired guy walked out with his hands around his stomach and his head dropped down to face his feet, making him look even smaller. I frowned, a new wave of nerves rushing through me as he walked passed all of our nosey eyes as fast as he could. The bell above the door went of loudly, announcing his departure as he practically ran from the building and the shameful look to him had me feeling really uneasy. Am I going to feel like that?  
  
"Jack Barakat."  
  
I jumped again, not expecting to hear such a loud voice in the silent room. Swallowing thickly, I ignored the pat to my thigh and nodded slowly. Pressing my shaking lips together, I slid from the chair and took hold of Lynn's outstretched hand. I avoided eye contact with everyone in the room much like the blonde guy we just saw and kept my gaze on my converse as she led me through the door behind the nurse.  
  
"Just follow the hall and turn left into room eight." The woman chirped from behind me once the door closed.  
  
"Okay, thanks." Lynn told nicely, pulling me forward.  
  
I gnawed at my cheek, watching the weird purple and dark green squares of the flat carpet blur together as we trailed down the hall. The weird color turned into white when I was suddenly turning into the small room on our left. I coughed, grimacing at the smell of plastic and cleaning supplies while I was ushered over to a green cot covered in annoyingly loud white paper. Cringing, I carefully sat down on it and swung my dangling feet anxiously.  
  
"We just have to fill out your form and then she can do it." Lynn informed, scooting her plastic chair up to my side. "I'll hold your hand. It's just a shot and a pill."  
  
I shuddered at the thought of the skinny needle pushing through my forearm, feeling a new grimace take over my face while I tried to calm my pounding heart.  
  
"You're being too quiet. I mean, you're always quiet, but you're not even speaking." She noted, taking hold of my left hand. "Are you sure you want to do this?"  
  
"Uh huh." I squeaked, clamping my fingers around her's a little harder than I meant to.  
  
"Take a deep breath." She instructed.  
  
I licked my lips, staring over at her while I inhaled deeply. I held it in for a second, relaxing my shoulders as I let it out just before there was a a knock on the door. I bit my lip, tensing up more than I was before when the door suddenly pushed open to reveal a tall blonde woman.  
  
"Hello, Mr. Barakat. I'm Doctor Louise." She introduced, holding her free hand out to me.  
  
I stared at her, taking a few seconds to get my hand to move towards her. I bit the inside of my lip, trying not to focus on the sticky feeling along my palm after she pulled away. Wiping my hand over my jeans, I went back to dangling my feet and squeezing Lynn's hand.  
  
"Okay. So youre here today for an abortion, correct?" She questioned, sounding all stern and serious.  
  
I gulped, slowly nodding my head. She looked me over before glancing back to her clipborad with a frown. I held my breath and looked over at Lynn curiously, hoping they can't tell how fast my heart is racing.  
  
"Okay, Jack. Your birthday lets me know that you are only seventeen years old." She started, pulling my attention towards her.  
  
"I-I. Yes." I confirmed, squeezing Lynn's hands tighter when Doctor Louise clicked her tongue.  
  
"Being seventeen, you're still a minor." She started, tucking the clipboard under her arm. "As you're still a minor, I cannot do the procedure without parental or guardian permission and supervision."  
  
"I can't have this baby." I panicked, feeling my heart drop into my stomach as I looked to Lynn with wide eyes.  
  
"My sister is the secretary." Lynn reminded, furrowing her eyebrows. "Doesn't she count?"  
  
"Considering I have no proof of her being the legal guardian of this young man, no." Doctor Louise frowned. "I'm sorry, but you can call and reschedule with one of your parents."  
  
"No no no." I repeated, shaking my head. "I can't tell my parents-"  
  
"I'm sorry, Jack." She apologized, holding her hand up. "I can't help you without your mom or dad."  
  
I sighed heavily, feeling the corners of my eyes burn with a fresh set of tears. I bit my quivering lip, trying to hold everything in while I slipped off of the cot. Sniffling, I dropped Lynn's hand and tucked my hands into my pocket lazily.  
  
"I'm really sorry, but you can come back with one of them." Doctor Louise reassured, patting my shoulder gently.  
  
I nodded, waiting for her to pull the door open before I rushed out. I swallowed hard, keeping my gaze glued to my feet as I pushed the door to the waiting room back open. I bit my cheek, rushing out of the building and into the cold air. The wind hit my face, forcing the warm tears welling in my eyes to overflow from the force.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Jack." Lynn called, pulling me towards her car.  
  
I sniffed, unable to hold back the stifled sob forcing itself passed my lips.  
  
"It's gonna be okay!" She tried, pulling me into a tight hug.  
  
I shook my head, trying to look at her through my blurred vision while the cries continued tumbling from my dry mouth.  
  
"They're gonna be so mad!" I managed to get out between hiccups.  
  
"You don't know that for sure." She informed, rubbing my arms. "Your mom is a total sweetheart. C'mon, let's get you in the car."  
  
I wiped my eyes, plopping down in the front seat once she opened the door for me. Whimpering, I rubbed my nose on my sleeve and buckled myself in as she walked around the car. Shaking my head, I wiped at my face again and slumped back in the seat.  
  
"We should've brought Kelsey." She groaned, getting into her own seat.  
  
"How would your fuck buddy have helped me?" I asked weakly.  
  
"She could've acted like your mom." She informed. "You'd be amazed seeing what some make up and different clothes can do. It's too late now though.. The doctor knows how scared you looked when she said your mom has to know so I'm sure she'll ask for a license or something."  
  
"This is just fucking great." I muttered, closing my sore eyes and leaning back into my seat in attempt to stop the sickness swirling in my stomach.  
  
"Just calm down and we'll all come over with you to tell them tomorrow?" She suggested.  
  
"Okay." I mumbled. "Maybe I'll have a better chance at living if there's enough witnesses."  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
"I don't want to do this." I whined anxiously, picking at the crust of my jelly sandwich.  
  
"Just walk the twenty feet to his table." Parker scoffed, obviously upset with this idea Cassadee pushed on to me five minutes ago.  
  
"My mom doesn't even know who he is." I complained, lowering my voice. "She's not going to be able to tell his parents he got me pregnant."  
  
"Your mom is crazy when she wants to be, Jack." Cass reminded, nudging my side. "Would you rather you tell him or him find out after you go through with it and get ups-"  
  
"He's not going to be fucking upset, Cass. Get that through your thick head." Parker hissed out in annoyance across from us. "He doesn't even care about Jack's feelings. He fucking humped and dumped him. The only reason I'm kind of with you on this is because we all know how crazy Kate can be when she's upset-"  
  
"And the last thing we want is for her to find a way to yell at him and have him yell at you or hurt you another way." Lynn finished, giving me a reassuring smile. "I guess Cass is right too. The father should know his kid is getting disintegrated before it happens."  
  
"It's not getting disintegrated!" I gawked, holding my hand over my abdomen when my stomach cramped. "It's not even a thing yet."  
  
"Yeah and he's not burning it you idiot." Parker snapped, nudging her elbow.  
  
"I said disintegrated." She spat, nudging him back just as hard. " _Incinerated_ means burning, idiot."  
  
I raised my eyebrows at their bickering, coming back to reality when Cassadee poked at my side some more. I groaned, cringing at the nervous butterflies floating around worse than yesterday.  
  
"I can't just randomly go up to him." I insisted, biting my lip at her unimpressed look.  
  
"Yes you can. Go on." She pushed. "Do you want me to go with you?"  
  
"No." I refused quickly, biting my lip at the hurt flashing in her eyes. "It's just. I'm going to feel awkward enough asking him if we can talk. Having you there would make me feel more weird."  
  
"It's okay." She smiled, squeezing my exposed forearm lightly. "Go now. Before lunch is over."  
  
I gulped, pushing my paper bag away from me anxiously before tugging at my Good Charlotte t-shirt. Licking my lips, I took another sip of my strawberry lemonade and nodded to myself. I bit my cheek, letting my gaze catch on a long table towards the back of the cafeteria. My eyes immediately found Alex and I felt my heart skip at the wide smile taking over his face as he laughed. Swallowing my nerves, I slowly pushed myself out of my seat and crossed my arms over my chest self-consciously.  
  
"You can do it." Lynn cheered, nudging my hip after I stepped passed her.  
  
I nodded, pressing my fingers into the crease of my elbows as I made my way down the busy lunchroom. Blinking slowly, I tried not to stare as I got closer. As soon as he came into view more close up, I felt the scowl returning to my face when I noticed the blonde girl sitting over his lap. She twirled her hair, giggling at whatever the small crowd was talking about while she used her other hand to fiddle with his snapback. I sucked in a quick breath, feeling my fingers shake when I reached the end of the table. I cleared my throat, immediately catching almost everyone's attention.  
  
"Yo." Alex greeted, nodding his head at me with an eyebrow raised.  
  
"Um." I mumbled, digging my nails into my skin to hide my pathetic shaking. "Can we like...talk?"  
  
I rolled my lips together, my heart leaping in my throat when the girls around me gave me dirty looks from their places around this side of the table. Swallowing thickly, I focused back on Alex and tried to keep my face from heating up at the confused look he gave me.  
  
"I really need to talk to you." I rambled, biting my lip. "Like, alone."  
  
I blinked, biting my lip harder at the smirk taking over his confusion. Clearing his throat, he nudged the girl right off of his lap and into the free seat beside him carelessly before he stood up.  
  
"Lead the way." He winked, brushing his dark grey hoodie off.  
  
I blushed, ignoring everyone around us as I turned around. Once I was facing away from him, I covered my cheeks with my cool hands and walked towards the nearest exit as fast as I could. Once I was in the hall, I sighed with a little bit of relief knowing everyone wasn't staring at me anymore but the stress came back when I realized what I just did.  
  
"Okay." I started, turning around and stopping when his finger pressed into my lips.  
  
I leaned back, a little taken aback from the intense stare he gave me. He stepped closer, drawing my eyes the silver hoop through his left nostril before my gaze dropped to his lips.  
  
"Maybe we should go somewhere more private?" He suggested, removing his finger.  
  
"Um. Okay?" I agreed slowly, crossing my arms back over my chest once he turned his back to me.  
  
I trailed behind him, trying to keep my gaze up on the back of his head. After staring at the black patch of hair over the back of his neck, my eyes fell down to his bold shoulders before traveling down his thin back and to his sagging black joggers. I bit my lip, looking away from the dark blue boxers poking out. I glanced up just in time to catch a glimpse of him stopping before I was shoved to the side. I gasped, reaching my arms out only to smack them into his chest when darkness filled my vision.  
  
"What-" I stopped, gasping when his warm lips slotted between mine.  
  
I opened my eyes, blinking to adjust them in the darker area while I shoved at his hard chest gently.  
  
"What are you doing?" I breathed incredulously, looking around the crammed space we're in.  
  
My eyes caught a string causing me to reach out and pull on it out of instinct. Light flooded the dark room and I felt my eyes widen more when I saw all of the cleaning supplies along the tall shelf to my right.  
  
"Sh." He hushed, pressing my back against the cold wall while his warm fingers slipped up the hem of my t-shirt.  
  
I gasped, feeling warmth spread through my body just like it did that night at the party. I gulped, looking up into his brown eyes to find him staring back down at me with that smirk that got me into this trouble in the first place. I shook my head, trying not to think of the feelings filling me from the touch of his hands and trying not to look down at the way the sweats clung to his long legs or the way his hoodie clings to his muscular inked arms or how he's actually looking at _me_ like this and not that blonde bimbo from two minutes ago-  
  
"Wait." I blurted, turning my head just as his lips brushed mine again. "I need to talk to you-"  
  
"Uh huh." He interrupted, slipping his hands from my hips to underneath my thighs.  
  
I choked out a breath, grabbing on to his shoulders when he hoisted me up effortlessly. I bit my lip, closing my eyes when his lips brushed along my neck. His hands wrapped my legs around his hips tightly, forcing me to rub up against him. I moaned in surprise, knocking the hat right off of his head when he nipped at sensitive skin.  
  
"Alex." I called, cursing the butterflies filling me at the new sensations he's showing me.  
  
"Let me take care of you, baby." He rasped, slipping his hands back to my ass.  
  
"We need to- _oh_." I moaned, clutching the back of his hoodie.  
  
"You're talking too much." He chuckled deeply, nudging my nose with his.  
  
I opened my mouth to protest only for him to slip his tongue inside without warning. I gasped, twitching nervously when he deepened the kiss. I awkwardly licked at his tongue back, unsure of what to really do now that I'm sober. Taking a chance, I wrapped my arms around his neck and copied his actions of smacking our lips together the best I could a few more times before I pulled away from him. Heavy breathing filled the room and I felt my gut clench at the way he panted against my mouth while he pressed himself into me harder.  
  
"A-Alex." I tried, gripping his shoulders tightly.  
  
"Jack." He breathed into my ear, making my eyes go wide.  
  
"You know my name?" I gawked, clearing my throat awkwardly when he pulled back enough to raise his eyebrow at me.  
  
"How could I forget someone that screams my name as sexy as you do?" He quirked, brushing his lips against mine teasingly. "You sure can work those hips."  
  
I blushed harder, trying to ignore the warmth flooding my gut from all of the touches and closeness. Swallowing thickly, I forced my legs from around his waist and pushed him back a little. Once my feet were back on the ground, I pushed him another step back and focused on fixing the hem of my t-shirt while silence fell between us.  
  
"We're not doing much _talking_." He teased, leaning down.  
  
"Oh my God." I exclaimed in realization, heat creeping up my neck while I covered my cheeks. "I actually need to talk to you. I'm not. Talking isn't code for sex, Alex."  
  
"Uh." He stopped, pressing his hands into the wall beside my head while he frowned down at me. "You're not try'na hook up?"  
  
"No." I said slowly, biting my cheek when he scoffed.  
  
"Then what the fuck are we doing in a closet?" He asked.  
  
"I don't know." I shrugged, crossing my arms back over my chest as the nerves uneasy nerves returned. "You pushed me in here."  
  
"I thought you were down to get off with me the way you were shoving your tongue down my throat." He pouted, pressing his hands back into my hips.  
  
"I'm not trying to get off with you." I admitted softy, fighting to drop my gaze from his. "I'm um. I'm like. I brought you in the hall to tell you that I'm pregnant."  
  
I closed my eyes and held my breath in, bracing myself for anything he could throw my way.  
  
"Uh. Congratulations?" He mumbled, slowly pulling his hands from my hips.  
  
"Congratulations?" I repeated, looking up at him in shock.  
  
"Yeah." He nodded unsurely, scrunching his face up. "What are you telling me for?"  
  
I pressed my lips together, staring up at him incredulously. Did I just hear him right? Or is he really that stupid?  
  
"I'm not stupid." He scoffed, taking another step back while another blush coated my cheeks. "You're fucking stupid try'na get with me when-"  
  
"I'm knocked up by you, Jackass." I retorted boldly.


	4. Chapter 4

I bit my cheek, ignoring the fluttering in my stomach at the obnoxious sound of his laugh continuing to fill my ears. Crossing my arms over my chest self-consciously, I silently watched him continue to hold his side while he stood up straight again. He breathed in, shaking his head and letting it out as he bent over to snatch his hat from the ground. I watched him pull it back over his hair before he looked back down at me.  
  
“You almost got me.” He whistled, stepping all up in my space again.  
  
I frowned, keeping my arms crossed as he slipped his hands back over my sides. I looked up at him, turning when he moved to lean down and shaking my head. I looked back over when I felt him lean back up, watching him bit at his lip rings for a few seconds as he studied my face.  
  
“Wait…” He trailed off, the amusement dropping from his voice right away. “You serious?”  
  
“Does it look like I’m not?” I replied, tucking my fingers into my elbows. “Why would I tell you I’m pregnant if I wasn’t?”  
  
He licked his lips, face paling as the words sunk into his thick skull. I stayed silent, watching as he shook his head to himself after a few more seconds.  
  
“Wait.” He frowned, raising his hands from my hips and back to press behind his head.  
  
I bit my cheek, trying not to think about the way his shirt is probably raising up. Shaking my head, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and felt my body tense more the longer he stayed silent.  
  
“What the fuck?” He drawled, making my eyes snap back to his. “The condom broke?”  
  
“We didn’t have one.” I reminded, feeling my cheeks flush when his face scrunched up even more.  
  
“You’re not on the pill?” He questioned slowly, watching me shake my head slowly. “What the fuck? Why’d you let me-”  
  
“I was really drunk.” I defended, scowling when he continued to look at me like I’m stupid. “I obviously didn’t have good judgement. I mean, I slept with you.”  
  
“Ouch.” He pouted, dropping his hands to his chest. “Way to hurt my feelings.”  
  
“I didn’t know you had any.” I shot back, surprised at my sudden confidence.  
  
“Damn, you’re fucking feisty.” He noted, pressing his hands back into my sides like I didn’t just insult him. “I like that.”  
  
“Okay, did you miss the part where I told you I’m pregnant?” I repeated, raising my eyebrows.  
  
“What the fuck do you want me to do?” He scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I’m not try’na be a daddy unless it’s yours.”  
  
“Your disgusting.” I grimaced, unfolding my arms to push his chest. “I don’t want anything from you, I just wanted you to know I’m getting an abortion. I don’t know, my friends made me feel like I shouldn’t do it without telling you first and-”  
  
He stepped back a step, keeping his hands on my hips while he continued staring down at me with confusion written all over his face. I shut my mouth self-consciously, feeling heat rush to my cheeks once more when he licked his lips.  
  
“Cool.” He cut in, slipping his fingers through my beltloops.  
  
I gasped, pressing my hands flat over his shoulders when I was forced into him. I looked up, jolting back a bit when he leaned down. I sucked in a breath, feeling my heart pound in my chest when his hot breath hit my lips and found myself curling my fingers over his hoodie despite my mind telling me to push him away.  
  
“You don’t care?” I whispered, feeling my back press back into the wall.  
  
“Fuck no.” He breathed, the coolness of the two rings through the left side of his lip pressing into my skin. “Abortions are good.”  
  
I let out the breath I was holding, closing my eyes when he pressed a hot kiss to my lips. I relaxed a little and shut my mind off, letting his lip slip between mine while I breathed in the smell of his cologne. He hummed, pushing his hands between our bodies and digging his fingers in the band of my jeans.  
  
“Alex.” I gasped, turning my head as he pulled at my button.  
  
I panted, grabbing his wrists as his lips trailed back over my neck. I bit my hot lip, cursing at myself when the burning tingles ran through me at his simple touches. I jumped, shoving his hands away when the shrill of the bell filled my ears. Realization of what I almost just did hit me and my heart thudded hard in my chest while I hurriedly pressed my hands into his chest.  
  
“What the fuck?” He complained, stumbling back from the unexpected force.  
  
“I can’t be late.” I mumbled awkwardly, pulling at the hem of my t-shirt as I caught my breath.  
  
“I only need like five minutes.” He muttered, attempting to pull me back in. “C’mon, s’not like I can get you more pregnant.”  
  
“No way.” I frowned, pushing his face back with my palm. “I shouldn’t have even let this happen in the first place.”  
  
“Seriously?” He pouted, breathing heavily.  
  
“Seriously.” I nodded, slipping by his side and pushing the door open.  
  
I practically leaped back into the hall, thankful to find it still empty. Clearing my throat, I ran my hands through my hair and casually glanced behind me. Alex walked out, twisting his hat a bit before he was reaching behind him. I watched him silently, feeling my gut twist weirdly as I got further away. Swallowing thickly, I turned my back on him and continued walking towards the end of the hall. I took in a shaky breath, slowly letting it out while I shook my head at myself. I just told him that he got me pregnant and that I’m getting an abortion and he didn’t care just like I knew he wouldn’t. All he wanted to do was get into my pants again and I almost let him.  
  
“Yo, hold up.”  
  
I slowed my pace, looking behind me to see Alex jog a few steps to catch up to me. I stopped and spun around, staring behind him as people started flooding the hall from the lunchroom.  
  
“Make sure to take care of it, yeah?” He called, breaking my focus on the stampede about to rush through.  
  
I furrowed my eyebrows, staring up at him silently until he rolled his eyes and held his hand in front of my face. I blinked, taking in a hint of green before my hand was pulled out in front of me. I dropped my gaze down when he slapped the money down into my palm before closing my fingers over it. I gawked, looking back up at him incredulously only for him to shoot me a wink.  
  
“See ya’round, Jake.” He smirked, smacking my shoulder before he turned towards the crowd coming towards us. “Yo, Stacey!”  
  
I stood frozen in my spot, watching him walk across the hall and over towards the girl that was sitting in his lap about twenty minutes ago with my mouth wide open like an idiot. He flipped his hat backwards, leaning down to talk in her ear while his hands automatically slipped over her sides just like he did with me seconds ago. I rolled my eyes, turning my back on them before I could see anything else. Frowning, I tried to ignore the stupid spout of anger bursting through me and busied myself with turning the closest corner. I tightened my fist, feeling the bills crumple inside as I turned into the first class on my right and right over to my assigned seat.  
  
“Woah, what the hell happened?”  
  
I rolled my eyes as I passed Parker’s desk and slid into my own cold seat. I slammed my hands down on my notebook, barely noticing all of my things set out for me already as hot tears burned the corners of my eyes.  
  
“Jack?” Parker pressed, gently squeezing my forearm. “What did he do?”  
  
“Nothing.” I muttered, opening my hand over my notebook and exposing the folded fifty dollar bills. “Looks like he’s paying.”  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
I sighed heavily, trying to keep my annoyance to myself as I slumped back into the comfy cushions of the black sectional in my family room. I leaned my head back, blindly reaching into the large bowl of pretzels in my lap.  
  
“I mean, I’m with Parker.” Lynn commented from her spot across the couch. “You told him you’re getting an abortion and he gave you money for it. Isn’t that a good thing?”  
  
“Yes, it’s a good thing.” I agreed, frowning at the flip in my gut. “I don’t know why I feel angry, okay?”  
  
“You’re definitely angry because he had no feelings about it.” Cassadee jumped in, nudging my knee with her foot. “I mean, I’m pissed about it. How can somebody get someone pregnant and have no remorse or feeling?”  
  
“Uh, he’s a fucking douchebag.” Parker repeated, making me roll my eyes.  
  
“Honestly, I shouldn’t have let you all inside.” I scoffed, shoving a pretzel into my mouth.  
  
“Hey!” Cassadee protested, kicking my knee slightly harder. “You’ve been teary eyed for the past few hours, of course we’re gonna follow you home!”  
  
“Not to mention we decided to stick around to avoid your death.” Lynn reminded, popping her gum obnoxiously.  
  
“Oh God.” I grumbled, chewing slowly as my body tensed up. “I forgot I have to tell them.”  
  
“Definitely if you’re planning on trying to make another appointment tonight or tomorrow morning.” Lynn recommended. “Chelsea’s listening out for your call until they close tonight at nine.”  
  
“Can we go back to why the prick giving you money made you upset?” Parker questioned, crumping the empty bag of Cheetos in his lap. “I’m surprised the dickhead even gave you anything, let alone two hundred bucks. Where did he even get it from? His ass?”  
  
I scowled, regret filling me briefly as I thought back to when I told Parker about Alex giving me money and telling me to make sure to take care of it. I’m confused about why I cried over it too so how am I supposed to explain it to them? I don’t exactly want to tell them I almost slept with him in a janitor’s closet and I definitely don’t want to tell them he called me Jake. How is he going to tell me he couldn’t forget my name and then call me a completely different name not even ten minutes after?  
  
“He’s probably loaded.” Lynn guessed, bringing me back out of my head. “I mean, he’s got loads of tattoos and piercings.”  
  
“He could just have parents that give him money.” Parker pointed out.  
  
“That’s pretty much the same thing as being loaded.” Lynn argued. “Mommy and Daddy buy him anything and everything he wants. Either that or he’s a drug lord.”  
  
“Nobody is a drug lord.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes at the suggestion. “We’re not living in a stereotypical fantasy, okay? People actually have real jobs, like waiters or baristas, or even concessions at the movies.”  
  
“Jack’s right.” Cass sided, popping the tab of her Pepsi open. “I work at the carwash every summer and occasionally my mom’s office over breaks.”  
  
“Okay, but do you carry two hundies on you?” Lynn interrogated, raising her eyebrow.  
  
“I carry my bank card?” Cass offered.  
  
“Alex is not a drug lord.” I concluded, stuffing my hand back in my pretzel bowl. “Who even cares how he got the money? At least it’s in my pocket now. My parents would bring me back just to kill me again if I told them I’m getting an abortion _and_ they have to pay for-”  
  
I shut my mouth, feeling my heart thump hard in my chest when Parker’s eyes widened while Lynn’s chomping paused. I froze in place, biting my lip anxiously and glancing at Cass through the corner of my eye. She cringed, lightly nudging my kneecap subtly. I gulped, hearing nothing but the pretzels in my hand drop back in the bowl as I awkwardly twisted to look over the back of the couch.  
  
“I hope I didn’t just hear that word come out of your mouth, Jack Bassam Barakat.” Mom warned, frozen in the doorway with a box of pizza in her hands.  
  
“Uh.” I stammered, looking back to Cassadee for help only for her to shrug helplessly. “What uh. What word?”  
  
I flickered my gaze back to her, feeling a kink start to form in my neck from how I had to twist in order to see her reddening face.  
  
“I think it’s time for your three to head home.” She announced, backing out of the entryway and turning into the kitchen. “Now!”  
  
I jumped, shoving the bowl in my lap to my side as I hopped up from the couch. Cassadee rolled from her place, flattening her shirt down while Lynn slid off of her seat. I gulped, the anxiety rising higher with every passing second while Parker got up and slipped his shoes back on.  
  
“Sorry dude.” He frowned, clapping his hand on my shoulder as he pulled his keys from his pocket.  
  
“It’ll be okay.” Cassadee reassured, pulling me into a tight hug.  
  
I nodded, lightly patting her back before she pulled away.  
  
“At least you’ll be able to call Chels sooner and get it over with.” Lynn whispered, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “Text us later.”  
  
“Oh God, don’t leave me.” I pleaded, biting my lip.  
  
I turned, following behind the line they formed on the way back to the front door. I held my breath, slowly trailing behind them as we passed through the kitchen and into the foyer until we got to the front door.  
  
“You know we’d stay if we wouldn’t be killed too.” Parker apologized.  
  
“Yeah.” I nodded, holding the door open.  
  
I sighed, feeling spit pile to the front of my mouth once they all stepped out on to the porch. I swallowed thickly, quietly shutting the door behind them only to hear the clicking of Mom’s heels that I missed earlier. I held my arms over my stomach, staring down at the white snowflakes printed on my red socks when I heard them stop.  
  
“Jack.” She called sternly, making me reluctantly look up from under my bangs. “What the hell did I hear just then? And come into the kitchen. Pizzas for dinner.”  
  
I tried relaxing, only making my shoulders tense more as I dragged my feet across the smooth wood floor of the foyer and into the cold tile of the kitchen. I watched her slip her heels off, silencing the room completely as we walked towards the kitchen table. I closed my eyes, sending a silent prayer towards the sky before forcing myself into my usual seat at the table.  
  
“Well?” She pressed, placing a plate in front of me before she opened the box up.  
  
I grimaced, the smell of greasy cheese making me sick instead of ecstatic like usual.  
  
“What is it?” She frowned, pressing her hand to my forehead. “And why would you say something so sick to your friends?”  
  
“I don’t know…” I trailed off, furrowing my eyebrows. “Sick?”  
  
She sat down in her seat across from me, pulling a slice of pizza on to her own plate. I pressed my lip together, almost hearing my stomach gurgle unpleasantly over the pounding of my heart in my ears from the oily grease coating her fingers after touching the crust.  
  
“All I heard you mention was abortion.” She admitted, frowning slightly. “Were you debating with Lynn again? Was she trying to make you think that’s okay?”  
  
“What?” I gawked, feeling the nervous spit piling back to the front of my mouth. “What’s okay?”  
  
“No, honey.” She laughed lightly. “Are you sick? I’m just making sure Lynn isn’t trying to force you to have the same opinion. Abortion is not something to be proud of.”  
  
“If someone is pregnant, they should have a choice.” I blurted, watching her blink back in surprise. “I mean. If they’re not ready or it was an accident-”  
  
“If you aren’t ready for consequences of sex, you shouldn’t be having it.” She interrupted, taking a bite of her pizza. “Grab a slice before it gets cold.”  
  
“What if you were raped?” I suggested, cringing at the horrible topic. “Would you want a reminder of that?”  
  
“If you were raped, then you can give the baby up for adoption.” She rebutted, raising her eyebrows. “Rape is a terrible, terrible thing. I wish that would never happen to anyone, but if it were to happen and end in a pregnancy then something beautiful is being brought from some darkness and an innocent baby shouldn’t have to suffer from that. There are always other options.”  
  
I slumped, frowning down at my empty plate as guilt weighed in my gut.  
  
“What brought this on?” She questioned, making my heart rate pick up again. “Jack?”  
  
“I’m uh.” I stuttered, hesitantly looking over to her face. “I’m-”  
  
“Jack.” She called in warning, watching me through nervous eyes.  
  
“I’m pregnant.” I shot out, squeezing my eyes shut to avoid the look on her face. “I didn’t mean for it to happen and I need you to be with me to get the abortion because I’m a minor and-”  
  
“Woah woah woah.” She said loudly, stopping my rambling. “Did you just. You’re telling me that you’re _pregnant_?”  
  
I kept my eyes closed, hesitantly nodding my head.  
  
“Jack!” She gasped.  
  
I jumped, popping my eyes open at the sound of her hands slamming into the wooden table. I blinked fast, the burning behind my eyes growing quickly while my lips quivered.  
  
“I need to make the appointment tonight.” I rushed out, biting my lip as my vision blurred.  
  
“You’re actually…you’re pregnant and you’re asking for an abortion?” She asked, a look of shock written over her face.  
  
“I can’t be a parent!” I exclaimed, bringing my hands to wipe the corners of my eyes. “I need to finish high school and go to college and get somewhere in life.”  
  
“When. How did this happen?” She interrogated, ignoring me completely. “Where did you even-oh my God. Is Parker the father?”  
  
“What?” I choked out, coughing on my spit as I shook my head. “No! Gross!”  
  
I kept shaking my head, blinking back the tears fighting to fill my eyes while I held my hands over my hot cheeks. She frowned, staring back at me in confusion before realization crossed her face. She huffed, sitting up straight. She brushed her hair behind her ears and I saw her nose twitch, successfully making me more anxious.  
  
“You lied to me, Jack Bassam.” She stated, pointing her finger at me. “I can’t believe it. This happened when you asked to spend the night at Parker’s didn’t it?”  
  
“I’m sorry.” I squeaked, covering my eyes with my sweating palms. “He pressured me into going to this party and I ran into this popular guy and he made me some drinks and-”  
  
“You accepted drinks from a stranger?!” She exclaimed loudly. “Why would you do that!”  
  
“He didn’t drug me!” I retorted, feeling my face flush even more at the memory. “I didn’t. He. We just had a one-night thing and this just happened.”  
  
“Well, _this_ is not something you’re going to solve by getting an abortion.” She informed.  
  
I dropped my hands from my face, coughing from the lack of air getting into my lungs when I looked over her straight face. My stomach fell into my ass and shook my head, watching my vision blur in front of me.  
  
“Mom, no.” I whimpered, biting my lip. “You can’t-”  
  
“I can and I will, Jack Bassam.” She cut in, shaking her head at me. “You decided to have consensual sex and either tried to be protected or you were unprotected and now you have to deal with the consequences.”  
  
“This is my body, mom!” I sniffled, shaking my head. “You can’t choose for me. I need a parent to get the abortion!”  
  
“If you’re still a minor, you don’t get to make this choice on your own.” She concluded, pushing her chair from the table. “You’re going to face the consequences and go through the pains of pregnancy, Jack. I will not let you participate in something so horrid. Now, whether you keep the baby or decide to use an alternative that doesn’t involve a clinic downtown is up to you.”  
  
“I have the money.” I tried, all of her words just going in one ear and out the other. “He gave it to me for this!”  
  
“Well, when your father gets home, we’ll take it back to him.” She finished, pulling a slice of pizza from the box and dropping it on my plate. “Eat up.”  
  
I gaped, staring at her as she turned her back on me. I blinked slowly, feeling arm tears slip from the corners of my eyes as she waltzed out of the kitchen. Sniffing hard, I pressed my hand over my mouth to stifle any sounds. Squeezing my eyes shut, I took in a shaky breath and ignored the smell of the pizza while my stomach filled with butterflies. Butterflies that didn’t seem nervous or sick.


	5. Chapter 5

“Alex!” I gasped, tossing my head back harder than I intended. “Mmph.”  
  
I bit my lip to hold in my hiss from the stinging along the back of my head from where it slammed into the hard headboard behind me. Closing my eyes, I focused on the heat rushing to my gut from the wet sensation of Alex’s tongue circling a touchy patch of skin along my neck and stretched back in attempt to get him to keep going.  
  
“Lift up.” He panted, tucking his fingers into the waistband of the skinny jeans clinging to my legs.  
  
I hummed, feeling my heart race in my chest as my hands slipped from his shoulders down to his wrists. Wrapping my hands around his, I shook my head slowly and bit my lip at the grunt of disapproval.  
  
“We can’t.” I whispered, trying to ignore the tightness forming in my jeans when he leaned more into my spread legs.  
  
“You look so fucking good.” He purred, slipping his hands over my thighs roughly.  
  
I swallowed thickly, biting back the smile threatening to break across my face. Butterflies fluttered through my chest while my heart sped up excitedly and I almost couldn’t contain the giddy feeling bubbling inside.  
  
“Alex!” I choked out, shooting my hands back in front of me to stop him from groping me. “We’re supposed to be-”  
  
I stopped, gawking when I felt his hardness pressing into the back of my thigh. My stomach flipped pleasantly and I bit my tongue, more nervous butterflies fluttering in my tummy when I felt his hot breath hitting my earlobe. I blinked hard, hearing a light buzzing in my ears while my eyes fought to focus in the dark.  
  
“Oh!” I gasped, feeling him press into my ass the best he could through our clothes. “You said you wanted to makeout-”  
  
I stopped involuntarily, practically melting into his rough lips as he shut me up again. I breathed in through my nose, slowly opening my mouth once he kissed me with more force. My muscles tensed as his hands slipped more up my thighs and I hummed at the wonderful feeling of his cold lips rings digging into my smooth skin. He nipped my lip for a split second, sliding his tongue over mine almost directly after. I moaned, unable to control myself with all the attention he’s giving me.  
  
“Alex.” I breathed, dropping his wrists and slipping my hands up his neck to grip the tail of thick hair.  
  
I swallowed hard, biting my hot bottom lip when his fingers slipped back into the waistband of my jeans. It wasn’t until I felt his fingers brush along my bare ass that I came back down to reality.  
  
“What are you doing?” I sputtered, clutching the thin material of his t-shirt in my left hand.  
  
“Show me how dirty you are, baby.” He rasped, spreading me open the best he could inside of the tight material.  
  
I bit my cheek, trying to keep the shudder from racking my body as another wave of heat settled in my gut. He hummed, slipping his hands back up my thighs until he reached my bare hips. Gripping on, he forced me forward and let out a mix of a moan and a shudder of his own. I gawked, moaning slightly at the tingles flying through me and focusing on how his body felt pressed into mine.  
  
“You want me.” He encouraged huskily, inching his fingers back into my waistband. “I can make you feel good.”  
  
 **”Jack!”**  
  
I shot up in my bed, holding my hand over my skipping heart while my lungs burned for air. Swallowing thickly, I blinked hard and grimaced at the wetness of sweat coating my body. I panted loudly, bringing my hand up to my mouth when my stomach lurched harshly. Scrambling from my bed, I stumbled over to my bathroom and rushed to the toilet just in time to empty the contents remaining from last night.  
  
“Jack! Do you hear me?!” Mom shouted, voice a lot closer and louder than a minute ago.  
  
I coughed hard, retching loudly for another few seconds before my stomach calmed considerably. Breathing heavily, I wiped the water from the corners of my eyes and groaned while my knees ached against the tiled floor beneath me.  
  
“I see the morning sickness kicked in.” She called from the doorway, clicking her tongue. “You needed a shower, Jack. You only have about ten minutes left to get ready.”  
  
I flushed the toilet with a scowl, feeling my cheeks heat up in embarrassment at the mention of my looks. I glanced down to my shorts, mentally sighing in relief when nothing jumped out at me. The rude awakening mixed with the puking proved to be a good turn off.  
  
“Hello? Anybody in there?” She asked, knocking me out of my thoughts once I got back on my feet. “I said you need to be ready in ten minutes.”  
  
“Ready?” I croaked, shivering in disgust at the taste in my mouth.  
  
Shaking my head, I grabbed my toothbrush from the counter and squirted a generous amount of toothpaste over it before shoving it into my mouth.  
  
“Really, Jack?” She scoffed, raising her eyebrows at me through the mirror. “Your doctor appointment is today. We need to get you properly checked out because God knows when you got pregnant.”  
  
I scrubbed my teeth harder, feeling my stomach sink at the idea of seeing my doctor. There’s nothing worse than feeling the judgement of other people and that’s all I’m going to feel as soon as I step into the building. I’m just going to be another stupid pregnant teenager everyone frowns upon and it’s all her fault.  
  
“Do you know who the father is or were you actually out of your mind enough to do anything with anybody?” She continued, leaning more into the bathroom.  
  
I spit my mouthful of toothpaste out in distaste, twisting the faucet on with a scowl. Rolling my eyes, I scooped some water into my mouth and rinsed everything out. Turning the water back off, I used the hand towel beside me to dab at my mouth silently and took a deep breath to contain myself.  
  
“I know who it is.” I responded once I felt calm enough to speak nicely. “We don’t really talk.”  
  
“Clearly.” She commented, pushing off of the doorway. “Get dressed now. You’ve got five minutes.”  
  
I frowned, twisting my hands together anxiously while I watched her leave without another word. Biting my lip, I slowly trailed over to my opened closet and distractedly looked through everything hanging. Twiddling my thumbs, I couldn’t stop the dread piling in my gut especially after the way she’s been talking to me since she found out.  
  
“Two minutes!”  
  
I jumped, hissing at the pain in my lip where my teeth briefly sunk in. Sighing heavily, I pulled a pair of light blue skinny jeans from the hanger along and shook them out. Groaning, I pulled my shorts off and forced my legs into the skinny jeans. Once the tight material got up my thighs and to my ass, I started to regret choosing to wear them. Grunting, I jumped a few times and successfully got them over my ass.  
  
“Wear one of those half-shirt things you have!” Mom added, voice echoing through the quiet house. “It’ll be easier for the ultrasound!”  
  
I rolled my lips together, tugging my white t-shirt off easily and tossing it to my hamper. Skimming inside the closet, my eyes met my black and white stripped Alien crop-top and I tugged it out with little struggle. I shoved my arms through the holes and pulled it over my head quickly, dropping my hands to button my jeans. I choked on my spit, shooting my head down when my hands ran down my hard stomach and widening my eyes at the noticeable rounding. I gulped hard, feeling a lump form in my throat when my fumbling fingers failed at popping the button through the hole.  
  
“Come on, Jack!”  
  
I huffed, sucking in and pulling the front ends of my jeans together as hard as I could only to see them barely able to connect. I let out the breath I was holding, feeling tears burning my eyes when the bump came back fully. Gritting my teeth, anger washed over me and I let out a mix between a scream and a cry. Squeezing my watering eyes shut, I raised my hands to my mouth and bit my fingers in attempt to hold in my noises.  
  
“What? What’s wrong?!” Mom demanded, rushing back into my room. “Jack?”  
  
“I can’t button my favorite fucking jeans!” I exasperated, feeling my face flush when shock washed over her. “This is your fault! You’re making me get fat and I’m not gonna be able to fit in any of my clothes!”  
  
I bit my cheek hard, trying to ignore the pull in my face as sadness filled me.  
  
“Jack Bassam, do not raise your voice at me.” She scolded softly, shaking her head at me. “I didn’t do anything. You did this to yourself by letting someone have sex with you, unprotected. I really thought you knew better, Jack.”  
  
I hiccupped, sniffing a million times unintentionally while the water finally broke free from the corners of my eyes. I whined, holding my hands over my mouth when the tears began spilling faster from her tone. She’s right. I know she’s right. I did know better until I was in the moment. It was never supposed to go that far.  
  
“I didn’t mean to.” I choked out through my fingers, dropping my blurry gaze to my feet. “He said he just wanted to kiss me because I’m so pretty.”  
  
I flushed in embarrassment at how stupid I am as soon as the words spouted from my mouth. I covered my face more, muffling the sounds of my quiet crying while regret hit me once more.  
  
“It’s okay, baby.” She cooed, wrapping her arms around me tightly. “Sh, don’t cry. You’re going to be okay.”  
  
“I don’wanna be pr-pregnant!” I wailed, digging my face into her shoulder.  
  
“It’s going to be alright, Jacky.” She repeated, smoothing my hair back in one hand. “C’mon, wipe those tears away. We need to get going.”  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“Ew ew ew.” I chanted, jumping at the goop spreading around my belly.  
  
“Knock it off, Jack.” Mom tsked, slapping my forearm lightly. “We’re going to see how far along you are.”  
  
I swallowed hard, laying back against the uncomfortable cot when spots dotted my vision. My stomach flipped sickly and I shook my head lightly to myself, forcing the thick spit forming in my mouth back into my throat.  
  
“Just a warning,” Dr. Maurine began, making the anxious flipping in my gut continue. “Signs of pregnancy begin after four weeks and I’ve got to say, this little belly looks like you could be quite further than usual when becoming aware of pregnancy.”  
  
“We did find out about two weeks ago now.” Mom informed, lifting her eyebrows at me. “Unless you knew before?”  
  
I shook my head, unable to speak as Dr. Maurine pressed a round stick into my abdomen. I held my breath, feeling my body tense as she circled all around. I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to keep myself from blowing chunks all over everything while she pressed down harder.  
  
“Ah, here we are.” She cheered, pausing near my belly button.  
  
“Oh my God.” Mom gasped, grabbing my left hand tightly. “Oh, my baby. My baby is having a baby.”  
  
I grimaced, feeling dizzy right when I opened my eyes back up. I kept my gaze on the ceiling, squeezing her hand back tightly while the corners of my eyes tingled unpleasantly.  
  
“It looks like you’re about twelve weeks pregnant, Jack.” Dr. Maurine estimated, moving the stick slowly this time. “You’ll need to start taking prenatal vitamins immediately and I want to have your next appointment scheduled-”  
  
I tuned her out, my brain only allowing the number twelve replay over and over in my mind. Twelve weeks? Twelve weeks. I’m twelve weeks pregnant. There is a three-month-old fetus inside of me because I let my guard down and allowed a fuckboy to plow me at a stupid end of summer party I never would’ve attended if it wasn’t for Parker.  
  
“Jack.”  
  
I blinked slowly, squinting at the bright light before my gaze focused on Mom leaning over me.  
  
“Breathe baby.” She told, pressing her cold hand against my forehead.  
  
I closed my eyes again, sucking in a quick breath through my nose while my heart thumped in my ears.  
  
“I take it this wasn’t planned?” Dr. Maurine assumed once my breathing turned steady.  
  
“Not at all.” I muttered, feeling my chest tighten. “This can’t be real.”  
  
“Jack.” Mom warned, brushing my bangs back. “You’re okay and everything is going to be fine.”  
  
I bit my lip, keeping my eyes closed while the tears built up in the corners the second time in an hour. This isn’t how my life is supposed to go. I’m not supposed to be in the process of becoming a _parent_. I’m supposed to graduate high school and get into a good college. I’m supposed to get out of Baltimore and road trip with my friends. I’m supposed to experiment with guys and fall in love. I’m supposed to be able to party and stay out all night if I want to.  
  
“My future is dead.” I sniffled, bringing my hands up to wipe my eyes.  
  
“I wouldn’t say that.” Mom commented, wiping a warm towel over my stomach. “Your future has a heartbeat and is almost the size of a lime.”  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“Mom, no.” I refused, biting my lip when a miniature strawberry gummy was shoved in front of my face. “I don’t remember.”  
  
Swallowing thickly, I took the gummy from her fingertips and popped it into my mouth. My stomach churned with nerves as I chewed slowly and the silence forming around me isn’t helping at all.  
  
“I will not take that for an answer on this, Jack Bassam.” She stated sternly, pushing a bottle of water towards me. “What’s his name?”  
  
“Why do you need to know?” I asked, untwisting the cap of the water.  
  
“Are you kidding me?” She retorted, dropping her hands on the table. “This is unnecessary, just tell me his damn name.”  
  
I shrunk back in my seat, lifting the water to my mouth and taking a gulp big enough to swallow down the remains of the vitamin. I took my time, drinking as slow as possible until she pulled the bottle from my hand.  
  
“It all comes down to your decision, Jack.” She sighed, speaking more calmly. “Let’s say you decided to keep him or her-”  
  
“Mom.” I protested weakly, closing my mouth when she gave me one of her looks.  
  
“It doesn’t matter if he is involved or not, his name has to be on the birth certificate because he’s going to be paying child support.” She began, holding two fingers up. “Or if you go another route and decide you want to go through adoption, we need his signature stating that he gives up all parental rights on his end. All in all, I need to know who he is, baby.”  
  
“I don’t want to start any trouble with him.” I admitted, resting my arms over my chest. “He gave me money for an abortion and I haven’t even seen him around to tell him I wasn’t allowed to-”  
  
“Don’t make me look like the bad guy.” She frowned. “Even though I’m against it, I did ask and Dr. Maurine told us that eight weeks is the latest the procedure can be done. You’re twelve.”  
  
I sighed heavily, slumping more against the hard back of the kitchen chair while my hands slid down to the bump protruding between my hips. Biting my lip, I rested my hands over it and rubbed my thumbs up and down softly. Guilt swarmed my gut at my selfish thoughts and I felt my lip start to quiver between my teeth.  
  
“It’s okay, honey.” She cooed, scooting her chair closer to me. “Your seventeen and you’re scared, but I promise you it will be okay. Me and Daddy will be here to help you.”  
  
“I’m sorry.” I whispered, sucking in a shaky breath.  
  
“It’s alright, baby.” She reminded, rubbing her hand over mine on top of my stomach.  
  
I nodded even though I’m really not so sure I believe her. How is everything going to be okay? I don’t even know how to be pregnant. I don’t know how to do anything with a baby and I sure as hell didn’t want to find out all on my own. It’s not fair that I have to go through this on my own.  
  
“Alex.” I mumbled, surprising myself.  
  
“What?” Mom asked, squeezing my wrist.  
  
“His name is Alex.” I repeated, licking my dry lips while I stared down at my hands. “Alex Gaskarth.”  
  
“Thank you for telling me.” She said, releasing my hand.  
  
“What are you going to do?” I wondered, feeling my heart skip a beat.  
  
“Why don’t you go take a shower?” She suggested, brushing her shirt off. “Daddy will be home soon so I’m going to start on dinner.”  
  
I blinked slowly, waiting another minute before finally standing from my seat. The way she blatantly ignored my question had another uneasy feeling washing over me and I can only hope nothing bad is going to happen. I can’t take all of this stress.  
  
“Go on now.” She pushed as she made a ruckus with pots and pans.  
  
“Okay…” I trailed off, turning my back to her.  
  
I walked out of the kitchen cautiously, looking back as I inched closer to the steps. When all I heard was the sound of water running and drawers opening, I deemed it safe to head up the steps. I’m not really sure what I thought she was going to do, but it definitely eases my mind now that I know she’s actually cooking. Breathing deeply, I turned down the hall and waltzed into my room lazily. My eyes instantly fell to my unmade bed and without another thought, I moved over and sat down on top of my comforter.  
  
“Wow.” I muttered, barely able to keep my eyes open all of a sudden.  
  
I hummed to myself, staring down at the white carpet for a solid few minutes before I laid down on my side. Yawning, I nuzzled my face into my pillow and closed my droopy eyes to rest for a few seconds. It was only a minute later when I felt myself drifting off and I just couldn’t be bothered to get up.


	6. Chapter 6

“Are you-”  
  
“Does it look like I’m okay?” I snapped, instantly feeling guilty at the obvious frown falling over Cassadee’s face.  
  
I heaved a sigh, tugging at the baggy material bunched up over my stomach for the third time in the ten minutes. Angry tears threatened to form and I groaned in frustration, bunching my hands into fists.  
  
“I’m sorry.” I muttered, stiffening uncomfortably in my seat.  
  
“Don’t feel bad.” Parker jumped in, draping his arm over my shoulders. “Getting asked the same question five times in two minutes is annoying.”  
  
“Yeah.” Lynn chuckled, taking a loud bite of her apple. “I wouldn’t be okay if I was three months pregnant.”  
  
“Technically he’s over three months now.” Cass stated, making my stomach sink further.  
  
I slumped over the free space of the lunch table in front of me and grimaced at the dull pounding forming in my temple as the talking around us grew louder. Sucking in a deep breath, I closed my burning eyes and tried to relax. The stupid attempt to calm myself down only made my head pound harder and I could feel actual tears settling in the corners of my eyes.  
  
“Hey.” Parker called softly, squeezing my upper arm gently. “I know you’ve heard it a hundred times by now, but it’s gonna be okay.”  
  
I shook my head, biting my quivering lip hard enough to focus more on the pain than the urge to cry. All I’ve done the past few days is cry, which is ridiculous. I hate that this is happening to me, but on the other hand I know it’s my own fault. I knew I wasn’t on birth control and I remember shaking my head when he brought up getting a condom. I’m ashamed to admit that I wanted to do it before the alcohol could have a chance to wear off. Without that liquid courage, I wouldn’t have even been able to hold a conversation with any cute guy let alone someone like Alex.  
  
“So, hey.” Lynn jumped in, taking me from my thoughts. “What are we gonna do with that money?”  
  
I swallowed thickly, a wave of nerves washing over me at the reminder that I haven’t mentioned anything to Alex. I haven’t even looked at him since he gave it to me. I blinked slowly, glancing down to my feet where my bag sat with said money sitting in the front pocket.  
  
“Well he sure as hell isn’t getting it back.” Parker answered, tucking me more into his side.  
  
“I can’t keep it.” I argued weakly, laying my head on his shoulder. “He’s going to want it back.”  
  
“He’s not the one stuck with a kid in his stomach.” He retorted quietly. “He can afford to lose two hundred dollars of his daddy’s money.”  
  
“Yeah, who says he even has to know you didn’t do it?” Lynn agreed, high-fiving Parker.  
  
“Um, have we forgotten that Jack is three months pregnant?” Cassadee questioned incredulously, motioning towards me. “He’s already into the baby bump stage, hence Parker’s too-big hoodie thrown over his body.”  
  
“Like he would even notice-”  
  
I tuned out the rest of the argument, feeling my heart skip when the sensation of being watched fell over me. I looked up out of instinct, my heart jumping into my throat when I met light brown eyes from across the cafeteria. I froze when he kept our gaze locked, unable to blink while my heart raced in my chest. He stared another five seconds before biting at the white string attached to his hoodie and turning towards the blonde beside him once her hand wrapped around his bicep. Angry butterflies flapped around my stomach as I watched him slump in his seat, looking unresponsive as she spoke to him with a flirty smile.  
  
“Jack.”  
  
I jumped, swallowing the lump in my throat once my eyes focused back on Parker’s as I leaned my head back to see him. He quirked his eyebrow before shooting me a grin and nudging the back of my neck with his arm.  
  
“I said to eat the rest of my sandwich.” He told, nodding his head down towards the table. “It’s not the baby’s fault you couldn’t keep your legs closed, don’t go starving it.”  
  
I gawked, glaring up at him and opening my mouth to bitch only to hear my stomach rumble lowly. Rolling my eyes, I pushed myself away from his side and snatched the half-eaten sub from in front of him with a scowl.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
I blinked, black dots clouding my vision almost immediately while my stomach churned and I found myself suppressing the groan making its way up my throat for the fourth time this class. Swallowing thickly, I tugged at the collar of the dark blue Sum 41 hoodie and forced my free hand halfway over my head.  
  
“What do you need, Jack?” Mrs. Curtis called immediately, stopping her lesson.  
  
“U-um,” I stuttered, feeling my cheeks flush at the feeling of everyone’s eyes on me while I closed my notebook. “May I see Mrs. Kent?”  
  
“Are you feeling okay?” She asked in concern.  
  
I cleared my throat, shaking my head as my spit grew thicker. I shoved my pencil in the rim of the notebook and slipped it into my messenger bag easily, attempting to stand up calmly instead of sprinting out of here like I want to.  
  
“Okay, I’ll call the office and let them know.” She agreed, no doubt noticing the green tint taking over my cheeks.  
  
I nodded, sliding my bag over my shoulders and casting my gaze down to my feet. She waited a few more seconds until I reached the door before she started her talking up again and I sighed with relief as soon as I stepped into the hall. Sick twists continued to flutter through my stomach and I bit my lip, grimacing at the pool of saliva taking over the front of my mouth.  
  
Fuck this, I am not okay. Fuck Alex, fuck sex, fuck reproductive systems and fuck it being too late to fix this.  
  
“Again?”  
  
I swallowed, nearly gagging at the slimy feel while I registered the fact that I somehow managed to get into the nurse’s office in record time.  
  
“Uh huh.” I muttered, raising the back of my hand over my hot forehead once her blonde head disappeared through the opened door behind her office setup.  
  
“Come on back.” She called.  
  
I sighed heavily, gripping the strap on my bag tightly as the churning grew worse. Stepping around the dark brown desk, I strode into the quiet room and pulled my bag over my head. Once I dropped it beside the twin sized bed on my right, I sat down on the edge and reached my hands out for the bucket already in Mrs. Kent’s hands. I barely had a good grip around it before my lunch was coming back up.  
  
“That’s it, let it out.” She coached, running her hand over my shoulders.  
  
I gagged harshly, the mushed mix of Cheetos and subway chunks forcing another round of mostly stomach acid into the bucket. I closed my watering eyes, coughing loudly in attempt to stop my dry-heaving only to make everything come out louder.  
  
“Okay, okay.” She cooed, patting circles between my shoulder blades. “Deep breaths, you’re okay. Just a little throw up.”  
  
Yeah, every time I eat something.  
  
“Alright, take a drink of this.” She directed, pulling the bucket from my grip.  
  
I swallowed thickly, wiping the corners of my wet eyes and watching her push a bottle of Ginger Ale into my hands. I sniffled, tears pooling in the corners of my eyes before I could even blink.  
  
“Hey, it’s okay.” She told me, urging the open bottle to my lips. “It’ll settle your stomach. Maybe you should change your lunch, hun. You’ve been in here a few days in a row now.”  
  
I blinked slowly, unleashing a mini-waterfall as I took a small sip of the room temperature liquid. It slid down my throat easily, but it didn’t help the churning in my stomach dull any.  
  
“Jack…” She trailed off, making my heart fall in my chest at her light tone.  
  
I looked up, biting at my lip when I met her widening gaze.  
  
“Is there something you want to tell me?” She questioned, looking down at me almost knowingly.  
  
Nerves filled my gut feeling like pins and needles, making my shoulders tense uncomfortably. Immediately breaking eye contact, I closed my eyes gently and tried to ignore the tears continuing to make their way down my cheeks.  
  
“Jack.” She pressed, placing her hand back over my shoulder.  
  
“I…I-” I stuttered, jumping when ringing echoed loudly throughout the room.  
  
My eyes popped back open in surprise and I mentally thanked whoever is out there for momentarily saving me from facing my reality. Mrs. Kent gave me a quick once-over, raising her eyebrows down at me once again before hurrying back out of the room and to her desk. I took the moment alone to take a deep breath. Breathing through my nose, I held it for a good few seconds before loudly releasing it out of my mouth. Repeating the process surprisingly took some of the weight from my shoulders this time, but the pins and needles grew stronger when I heard the footsteps leading back to me.  
  
“This conversation isn’t over,” She started, pulling my gaze to her. “but Principle Wilkins wants to see you.”  
  
“What?” I asked, perking my ears to make sure I heard right.  
  
“Principle Wilkins wants to see you.” She repeated and the light relief I felt not even five seconds ago evaporated on the spot.  
  
“Why?” I wondered, biting my lip.  
  
I’ve done nothing wrong.  
  
“I can’t discuss that with you.” She answered, making my stomach drop more into my ass than it originally was.  
  
“Okay.” I whispered.  
  
He knows. He has to. Mrs. Kent knows. Now I’m going to have to see the school counselor and go through a list of alternatives because being pregnant and in high school is not a good combination at all. Being pregnant and actually finishing high school doesn’t go together. Oh god, not finishing high school equal no college and-  
  
“Hey, don’t look so worried.” She called, nudging my elbow.  
  
I sighed heavily, standing from the bed and grabbing my bag limply in my hand.  
  
“Come back here once you’re done.” She ordered, guiding me towards the closed door leading into the main office. “I’ll write you a pass for your last class.”  
  
I nodded, unable to find my voice as the tears started back up. I sniffled, taking the tissues she held out to me before holding my breath and slowly walking through the dreaded wooden door. Once it closed behind me, I forced myself to look up and meet the eyes of Mr. Wilkin’s secretary only for her to point right towards his closed office door to her right. I sucked in a shaky breath and dragged my feet the ten steps over to his office. Looking down, I bit my cheek and stared into the light grey material of my sweats before hesitantly knocking two times.  
  
“Come in!”  
  
I grimaced, reluctantly twisting the doorknob and pushing the heavy door open. Gulping uncomfortably, I kept my eyes glued to my converse and slipped through the door carefully. It closed behind me loudly and I coughed awkwardly in the silent room, inching my feet towards the chair closest to me.  
  
“Thank you for finally joining us, Mr. Barakat.” Principle Wilkins greeted.  
  
“Sorry.” I muttered shyly, feeling my face flush once I registered his words.  
  
Nervous butterflies raced through my stomach and I glanced to my left, instantly feeling the color drain from my face.  
  
“What’s this about?” Alex demanded rudely.  
  
I sat stiffly, hearing nothing but a dull buzzing in my ears as my eyes fell over his slumped form. His fingers twitched around the white string connected to the deep purple hoodie as he pressed the tip between his lips much like he did in the cafeteria. I pressed my lips together, dropping my gaze down to his bouncing knee immediately after I felt his gaze hit me. Spit pooled back to the front of my mouth and I dropped my bag by my feet in order to cradle my twisting stomach.  
  
He has to know why we’re here. He can’t be that stupid. He’s got to know I haven’t gone through with what we wanted. If I had, I would be at home recovering and not passing him in the hall every dreadful day since my mom refused to let it happen.  
  
“Shut up, Gaskarth.” Principle Wilkins warned, pointing between us. “You’re lucky I don’t expel you. Either of you.”  
  
“What?” I gawked, clutching the tissue in my fist tightly.  
  
“You have to know why you’re here.” He continued, staring me down before raising an eyebrow at Alex. “You really don’t think-”  
  
“I can’t be expelled.” I blurted, feeling my lips tremble. “Please, Mr. Wilkins. I didn’t do anything wrong and-”  
  
“You didn’t do anything wrong?” He interrupted, holding his hand up. “You surely surprised me, Mr. Barakat. Now, I’d rather not get back into detail, but I’ll have you both know that you’re each going to be suspended.”  
  
I furrowed my eyebrows, tightening my grip on my elbows over my stomach while my eyes trailed back over to Alex in confusion.  
  
“Suspended?” He scoffed, tugging at his hood. “What am I suspended for?”  
  
“For this!” Principle Wilkins exasperated, snatching a clicker from his desk and pointing it towards the right corner of the office.  
  
I jumped from the sudden aggression, looking up instinctively when light static filled the tense room. I choked on my spit, my eyes nearly falling from their sockets as a black and white version of myself appeared on the small television screen _stumbling from the supply closet with Alex right behind me_. My hands flew over my mouth as I watched myself adjust my hair through the screen, my face growing unnaturally hot as Alex’s past-self pulled out some cash from his wallet before chasing me down.  
  
“This is highly unacceptable!” Mr. Wilkins exclaimed.  
  
I swallowed hard, horribly sick to my stomach as realization dawned on me and before I could manage to explain that the scene displaying before our eyes wasn’t what he must be thinking, an uncontrollable spew of hot vomit rose up my throat and right between my fingers.  
  
“Oh shit!” Alex exclaimed, practically ripping my hands from covering my mouth. “Look down.”  
  
I tilted my head down, dry-heaving in disgust as the warmth of vomit spread down my chest and over my hands. I whimpered, barely registering the sounds coming from my mouth as I coughed out the thick spit remaining in my mouth after the short spurt of puking came to a stop. I sniffled, my throat scratching painfully while my whole body burned with embarrassment and there was no stopping the tears falling from my eyes as I continued to gag over my lap. I tried to press my lips closed, failing miserably as my chest heaved for air that couldn’t get into my mouth fast enough. A light pressure on my hands distracted me for a spilt second and I stared down through my blurred vision, butterflies fluttering hard when I found Alex’s thumbs circling over my puke covered hands.  
  
“I’ll get Mrs. Kent.”  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“Mom.” I panicked, feeling my heartbeat pick up.  
  
“Oh, stop it.” She scolded, cutting the engine and unclicking her seatbelt. “You’re being dramatic.”  
  
“This is unnecessary!” I exclaimed, the stress getting the best of me. “I’m telling you already-”  
  
“If he doesn’t want anything to do with this then why wait until the baby is almost here?” She pressed, undoing my own seatbelt for me. “Besides, you need to give that dirty money back and I want to speak with his parents. He got you suspended.”  
  
I gulped, pressing my lips together firmly as my eyes lifted back up towards the windshield. Multiple apartment buildings met my eyes, almost none of them looking like something anyone should be living in with the rotting brick and chipping parking lots. The car door shutting beside me knocked me back into reality and I groaned, face flushing nervously as I slowly stepped out of the car behind her.  
  
“Did Mr. Wilkins give us the right address?” She questioned, pulling me more into her side as we walked up the cracked sidewalk leading towards an opened entrance.  
  
“How would I know?” I mumbled, feeling my fingers shake with anticipation.  
  
“Okay, this says the third floor up. Apartment three hundred and seventeen.” She directed, leading me towards the first set of concrete steps.  
  
I shuddered, slowly climbing up the stairs behind her while my fingers twisted in the grey drawstrings attached to the black joggers Parker lent me last night. Nerves bubbled in my gut and it almost feels like a repeat of yesterday might happen. Just thinking about it made me shudder harder, earning a light slap from Mom as we got halfway up the third flight of stairs.  
  
“Quit it.” She scolded quietly. “You should’ve been more careful if you’re this afraid to deal with consequences.”  
  
I huffed, a ping of annoyance running through me and surprisingly helping the nerves right when we got to the third floor. I crossed my arms over my chest, letting my curiosity get the best of me as my eyes raised from my feet. Paint chipped off of the doors and the bricking between apartments looked almost as bad as it did on the outside of the building, making me wonder if Mr. Wilkins really did give us someone else’s address.  
  
“Jack.” Mom called, hauling me to a stop in front of a particularly badly chipping door.  
  
 **317**  
  
I held my breath once she knocked, and emptiness forming in my stomach as the nerves made it feel like everything fell to my feet.  
  
“Get the fucking door!”  
  
I jumped, subconsciously stepping closer into Mom’s side while loud footsteps thundered from the other side of the door. I brought my fingers up to my mouth, biting at my nail lightly right as the door flew open. Light wind hit my face along with the smell of stale smoke and something unrecognizable, making me cough and cover my mouth while my eyes met a warm brown pair.  
  
“Um, hello?” A girl as tall as me greeted, almost looking familiar.  
  
Long brown hair thrown in a bun and pretty brown eyes surrounded by makeup made her seem the same age, but the skimpy tank top and shorts had me wondering if she’s older than she appears.  
  
“I’m looking for the parents of Alex Gaskarth.” Mom spoke kindly.  
  
I stood off to the side silently, biting my nail anxiously as confusion washed over her face. Swallowing hard, I prayed we had the wrong people, but the look taking over her face made me think otherwise.  
  
“Oh God.” She laughed, trailing her eyes over me briefly before looking back to Mom. “What’d he do now?”  
  
“I’d really like to see your parents.” She spoke sternly, causing the girl’s eyes to get wide.  
  
“Dee Dee!” She shouted over her shoulder, scratching the back of her neck. “Someone’s here for you!”  
  
“I’m on the-”  
  
I gulped, watching silently as loud footsteps grew closer before another figure appeared next to the girl with an old school phone hanging from his hand.  
  
“Never mind, he fucking hung up.” He scoffed, turning to face us. “Who the fuck are you?”  
  
I froze, taking in the familiar traits of his face before my eyes shot over towards Mom’s shocked expression.  
  
“I’m Jane Barakat and this is my son, Jack.” She introduced politely, shooting me a reassuring smile. “We’re here because of the suspension and-”  
  
“Woah woah woah.” Mr. Gaskarth interrupted, holding the hand with the phone out to stop her. “Suspension? What suspension?”  
  
“The three-day suspension our boys got for being caught on school cameras coming out of a supply closet.” Mom informed, my cheeks no doubt turning into tomatoes.  
  
Mr. Gaskarth’s eye twitched before his head turned to the girl beside him. She shrugged, and made a face before he was turning his back to us and leaning his head more inside of the apartment.  
  
“Alexander William fucking Gaskarth!”  
  
I cringed, the churning in my stomach returning at full force when Mr. Gaskarth turned back to face us with a wild look taking over his once calm expression. It was them that I noticed his hand hovering over his stomach and with one look down, I realized his hand wasn’t hovering. No. It was resting on a rather large bump.  
  
“Wha- oh shit.”  
  
I blinked rapidly, looking away from the sight only to find Alex peering out between them. His usually hidden hair was a mess on top of his head and the lit cigarette between his lips spewed endless smoke right in the general direction of my face. I bit down harder on my nail, forcing the sick feeling as far as possible while my eyes trailed over his bare chest until I met his bloodshot eyes. Within seconds, realization washed over his face and his tan skin tone visibly paled.  
  
“Oh shit?” Mr. Gaskarth repeated. “What the fuck is going on and why am I finding out from a stranger that you’re suspended?”  
  
“You didn’t do it.” He stated, ignoring his dad in order to stare back at me.  
  
I licked my lips, keeping my hand over my mouth while I let my head move just enough to confirm his assumption. He inhaled deeply, running his hands through his crazy hair while the girl next to him looked me over more closely than before.  
  
“He’s three months, of course he didn’t.” Mom jumped in, pulling the folded cash out of nowhere and thrusting it towards him. “Take your money back.”  
  
“Wait, what?” The girl exclaimed, cackling as Alex scrambled to catch the money.  
  
“Get out of here, Alyssa.” Mr. Gaskarth ordered, motioning for her to get away before his hard eyes landed on me. “You’re pregnant?”  
  
“Uh…” I stammered, swallowing thickly. “Y-yes sir.”  
  
I gasped, not expecting his hand to swing up and smack Alex across the back of his head hard enough to echo through the empty hall.  
  
“You fucking moron!” He shouted, smacking the back of his neck two more times before he shoved his shoulder roughly. “You fucking knocked somebody up?! What the hell is wrong with you? And why don’t I know about your suspension, huh? Did you fucking switch our numbers so I wouldn’t know? One more fucking time and you’re done, Alexander! I’m so sick of you fucking everything up and now I’ve got to deal with your fucking baby drama when I’m three months away from having another one of you shitheads running around-”  
  
“Oh-fucking-kay!” Alex yelled back, holding his arm up to block his dad’s smacks. “I didn’t fucking mean to get him pregnant!”  
  
“There’s a thing called condoms.” He said, sighing heavily as he turned back towards us.  
  
“He felt better without it.” Alex quipped, making my cheeks darken considerably.  
  
I cringed, hearing the loud smack echo once again before reluctantly looking back to Alex. He grimaced, rubbing the back of his head gingerly while his dad yanked the money from his right hand.  
  
“Dee.” He complained, dodging the raised hand quick and pressing himself against the opposite side of the door wall.  
  
“You think your dad is going to take this like a joke?” He snapped, all hints of amusement falling from Alex’s face quickly. “You’re gonna fucking tell him right when he gets home. And you can tell him that it felt better without the condom. See if he doesn’t kick your ass.”  
  
“He was supposed to get an abortion.” Alex muttered, avoiding eye contact with me as he took a longer drag of his cigarette.  
  
“Yeah, well I was supposed to get a fucking abortion with you and it was too late.” He retorted, scoffing. “And Alyssa popped out after you so you better fucking hope you didn’t give the kid twins. Your father is good at that so you probably are too.”  
  
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Mom started, giving my forearm a comforting squeeze. “But I’m really just here to figure out a plan. We want to know what to expect. Jack might not want to keep the baby when he or she is born and in that case, we need everything to get signed for the adoption agency and whatnot.”  
  
“Fuck no.” Alex scoffed, huffing a mouthful of dark smoke in front of his dad’s face.  
  
“Excuse me?” Mom chuckled incredulously.  
  
“My kids not getting fucking adopted, lady.” He refused, pointing towards me. “You don’t want it? I’ll fucking take it.”


	7. Chapter 7

I choked on my spit, holding my hand over my mouth to stop my coughing while my heart thumped hard in my chest. A new swarm of butterflies flew through me while some kind of unfamiliar feeling twisted in the pit of my stomach and I felt the tension between us grow thicker. Blinking my wide eyes back to normal, I flickered my gaze from the shocked look of Alex’s dad before looking into Alex’s glazed eyes.  
  
“I’m jus’ fuckin’ with yous.” He grinned, unable to stop the laughs spilling out of his mouth.  
  
My shoulders instantly relaxed a notch, a sense of relief filling me while my mom’s arm wrapped around my shivering back. I know I want nothing to do with this baby right now, but that doesn’t mean I would ever leave it in his hands.  
  
“Are you out of your damn mind?” Mr. Gaskarth exclaimed. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”  
  
“I mean, I’m pretty fuckin’ high.” Alex laughed bluntly, reminding me of when we talked at school.  
  
I jumped, loud ringing piercing into my ear drums. Swallowing thickly, I wrapped my arms back around my stomach and winced when Alex received yet another slap to the back of his neck while his dad’s other hand pressed the cordless landline to his left ear. Biting my lip, I turned my head and looked into my mom’s eyes. She raised her eyebrow slightly like she does when she’s confused or worried and I shrugged, awkwardly looking back towards Alex. He tossed his cigarette to the ground in front of his bare feet and shoved his hands into the pockets of his red and black joggers, drawing my eyes to the black coating his arms.  
  
“Hello?” Mr. Gaskarth answered almost venomously. “I’m _not_ fucking happy. I’m trying to deal with a crisis your fucking son caused and he seems to think everything is so fucking hilarious. Which one do you think I’m talking about? I’m about to slap the shit out of him-”  
  
“Don’t tell him I’m high.” Alex whispered loudly, raising his left fingers to his lips.  
  
I rubbed my elbows uncomfortably, a tingle of warmth shooting through my gut as I took in the details of the electric guitar taking over his entire forearm. Sheet music symbols wrapped around the front of his arm, tangling around an old school mic and stopping near the large amp taking over some of his bicep.  
  
“I’ll just see you when you get here, alright?” Mr. Gaskarth sighed, knocking me out of my trance. “I already told him he can tell you himself. I guess it could be worse. Okay, stop talking and driving at the same time you know I don’t like you doing that. Love you too.”  
  
He hit a button, brushing the long strands of dark hair falling out of the bun along the backside of his head behind his ears before tucking the phone back into the crease of his arm. Heaving a sigh, he ran his hand over his eyes and the bridge of his nose for a few seconds before looking back over at me and my mom. Glancing down at my stomach, he shook his head again and turned towards Alex.  
  
“You have ten minutes to get some eye drops into those eyes and prepare yourself.” He informed, waving him away. “Tell Alyssa to clean her stencils and shit off the table so I can set dinner out before your dad gets here.”  
  
“Okay, but-”  
  
“No buts, get your ass moving.” He ordered, pointing inside of the apartment.  
  
I gulped, watching Alex’s shoulders grow tense before he disappeared back where he came from.  
  
“Now really isn’t a good time to talk about all of this.” Mr. Gaskarth notified, inching his way back into the apartment. “It’d be best if you got out of here before my husband shows up.”  
  
“Alright.” Mom agreed curtly, rubbing my side. “When do you think we can get everything sorted out…”  
  
“Jeremy.” He introduced lazily, gripping the side of the door. “I’ll let you know.”  
  
“Would you like to take down my number-”  
  
I jumped, gawking at the closed door in shock.  
  
“Are you kidding me?” Mom laughed humorlessly, moving until she was in front of me. “Did he just-”  
  
“Let’s get out of here?” I suggested quietly, growing more uneasy as the seconds passed. “Before his other dad gets here.”  
  
“If I couldn’t see how shaken up you are right now, I wouldn’t be leaving this shit hole.” She commented, linking her arm with mine.  
  
I tried to laugh, but nothing came out as I walked back towards the stairs with her. Tightening my grip, I jogged down the steps in unison feeling my fingers shaking from the cold air along with the adrenaline of confronting Alex and his parents. One half of his parents anyway.  
“That didn’t go as planned.” She spoke up once we got down the last few steps.  
  
“What did you expect to happen?” I wondered, hurrying over to my side of the car.  
  
Once I heard the locks click, I pulled my door open and leaped into the seat. Slamming the door closed, I buckled up and immediately blasted the heat once the car turned on.  
  
“Oh, you know, a mature conversation between one parent to another. Or maybe getting invited inside?” She opted, chuckling lightly. “Although, I’m not sure I wanted to step inside with whatever seemed to be going on there.”  
  
I hummed in agreement, thinking back to how frazzled and angry Alex’s dad looked the whole time. It was weird seeing where Alex came from and even weirder getting a glimpse of how his family interacts.  
  
“The apple doesn’t fall from the tree, huh?” She joked, patting my back. “You want some hot chocolate on the way home?”  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“Jesus Christ, Jack.” Parker hissed quietly. “If you don’t want anyone to notice yet, you’re not doing a good job of hiding it.”  
  
I froze, pushing the mush in my mouth down my throat while my cheeks burned. I sat up straight, pulling my hand from the tin in front of me and suddenly feeling aware of everyone’s eyes on me.  
  
“Hiding what?” Cass scoffed, nudging my side comfortingly.  
  
“Uh, the fact that he’s got a spawn blowing up in his uterus?” He retorted sarcastically.  
  
“I’m just eating.” I defended, wiping my crumby fingers over my chest.  
  
“You took eating to a whole new level.” He retorted with wide eyes. “You’re devouring a twenty-four pack of cookies.”  
  
“They’re good.” I complained, itching to grab just one more. “They’re calling my name.”  
  
“If you think those chocolate chip cookies are asking you to eat them, you might really need to go in the looney-bin.” Lynn commented, snatching the cookie tin from in front of me and sliding it more towards her.  
  
“You guys can’t take shit away from a pregnant guy.” Cass scolded, snatching the tin back and holding it out to me.  
  
“He’s eaten half of it!” Parker exclaimed, knocking it away. “That’s not healthy, Cass!”  
  
“I’m right here.” I scowled, crossing my arms over my chest. “And could you keep it down?”  
  
I licked my lips, subtly glancing around the loud cafeteria. Everyone still seemed to be in their own worlds at their tables, nothing out the ordinary. No attention on me whatsoever, just like usual. Just how I like it.  
  
“Um. It didn’t exactly go unnoticed that you and Alex went missing for three days in a row.” Cass mentioned, draping her arm over my shoulders. “At the same time.”  
  
“Oh God.” I groaned, nervous butterflies swarming my gut after hearing Alex’s name.  
  
Ever since the disaster of my mom forcing me to go to his house, he’s all I seem to think about. What did his parents say? Does he even care about me being pregnant with his child? Is he going to help me when it gets more noticeable? The last thing I need is for every girl and guy he’s been with to come after me or something. Oh God, I can only imagine the rumors that are going to be spread about me and I don’t know if I can handle everyone talking about me-  
  
“Earth to Jack.” Cass called, shaking my shoulder gently.  
  
“Huh?” I mumbled, pushing my worries to the back of my mind.  
  
“I asked if you’re okay?” She repeated, frowning at me in concern.  
  
“Fine.” I nodded, wiping my mouth on my sleeve. “Just nervous. For like, later on. Y’know?”  
  
“Nobody is gonna fuck with you.” Parker predicted, leaning over his side of the table. “I mean, you aren’t the first pregnant person here.”  
  
“He’s the first impregnated by Alex Gaskarth.” Lynn reminded, wiggling her eyebrows. “Mr. Irresistible-”  
  
“He’s not irresistible.” Parker scoffed. “He’s barely even popular. He just sleeps with a lot of easy people and talks to everyone.”  
  
“Wow.” I muttered, rolling my eyes at the insult even though it wasn’t exactly directed towards me.  
  
“I didn’t say _you_ were easy.” He said, biting his lip in thought. “Although, you kinda were.”  
  
“Parker!” Lynn and Cass scolded, making me roll my eyes even harder.  
  
“Um, speak of the devil.” Lynn whisper-yelled.  
  
“What?” I asked, dropping my attitude and sitting up straight.  
  
“He’s coming behind you.” She warned, speaking through closed lips.  
  
I gripped on the school tray in front of me, a nest of birds flopping in my stomach while hot heat rushed up the back of y neck. I pressed my lips together hard, feeling my shoulders tense up when Parker’s eyes narrowed up behind me.  
  
“The fuck do you want, Gaskarth?” He spat.  
  
“Jack, can we talk for a second?”  
  
I bit the inside of my cheek, fighting the shudder as chills ran up my spine at the sound of his voice. Pinching the sides of the trays, I let out a low sigh and relaxed more in my seat. Flickering my gaze between Parker, Lynn and Cass, I gave a soft nod and allowed myself to spin around in my stool. Instead of looking into his eyes, I was met with black Ray-Bans matching the snapback twisted over his head.  
  
“Uh, how about we go outside?” He suggested, shoving his hands into his black hoodie pockets.  
  
I swallowed, my mouth running dry at the stubble casting a five’o’clock shadow over his face. Flushing furiously, shot him another nod and stood from my seat quickly. I shook my hoodie out, making sure it didn’t cling to me before brushing the back of my dark blue jeans off. Grabbing my backpack, I slung it over my shoulders and tugged the hem of my hoodie down to make sure it covered where the stupid belly band started.  
  
“It’s cold out there.” Cassadee called after I took two steps forward. “Don’t be out long.”  
  
“I won’t.” I told, turning to give her a smile before I put my attention back to Alex. “Uh-”  
  
“Let’s go, yeah?” He mumbled, leading the way towards the closest set of doors.  
  
I followed at least a foot behind him, staring into his back as another nervous pit settled in my stomach. There seemed to be something off, but I just couldn’t pin-point what exactly it was. Biting at my lip, I tightened my grip over my strap and moved my legs a little faster once we were in the hallway.  
  
“Can you slow down?” I rushed out, my heart picking up from the fast-pace I took on.  
  
“Right, sorry.” He chuckled, slowing to a stop.  
  
I stopped in front of him, furrowing my eyebrows when he leaned along the row of lockers beside us. Folding my arms, I wrapped my shaking fingers around my elbows and looked up at him expectantly.  
  
“We don’t have to go out there.” He shrugged, nodding back towards one of the exits to the parking lot. “I just-”  
  
“Why are you wearing sunglasses?” I blurted, blushing harder when one of his eyebrows raised.  
  
“I’m hungover.” He supplied boredly, pulling his hands from his pockets to rub at his jaw.  
  
“Oh.” I mumbled, feeling oddly calmer standing in front of him. “Is this about the other day? Because I’m sorry we just showed up like that. Believe me, I didn’t want to but my mom is a little insane-”  
  
“S’fine, Jack.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “I just wanted to get your number.”  
  
“I beg your pardon?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.  
  
“Your phone number?” He trailed off, licking his lips.  
  
I squeezed at my elbows, trying to focus on his words instead of the movement of his lip rings from the tip of his tongue. Trailing my eyes over his lips a second time, a short wave of heat rushed through my gut and I found myself looking over his face more closely. As the seconds passed, my lips twitched to connect with his and the sudden urge made me want to smack myself.  
  
“Are you okay?” He questioned, tilting his head to look down at me.  
  
“Um.” I stammered, looking back up to his covered eyes. “Yes? Are you?”  
  
“I’m fine.” He said slowly, standing up straight. “I just want your number so I can like, stay updated. Y’know? Maybe we can plan a day to talk about shit. Like what we have to do, right?”  
  
“Oh.” I replied, a little taken aback as he continued to look down at me. “Okay, yeah. I can do that.”  
  
“Cool.” He mumbled, suddenly holding his phone towards me.  
  
I bit my lip, pulling my arms apart and grabbing the beat-up android from his loose grip. I held it close to my chest, staring down at the cracked screen for a few seconds before slowly typing my number in. I lifted my finger up, hovering over the space to type my name only to find something already typed in to represent me. I blinked, butterflies fluttering in my stomach and up my throat as I re-read over the four-letter word at least five times.  
  
“I’ll shoot you a text so you have mine.” He said, tugging his phone back from my hands. “Don’t be shy.”  
  
I looked back up, opening and closing my mouth a few times while my brain fought to register what was happening. I held my breath, closing my eyes lightly as a gentle kiss pressed into my lips. The warm feeling disappeared before I could savor it and once I opened my eyes, Alex was already turning into the next hallway over. Raising my fingers to my tingling lips, a newfound giddiness replaced the shock and I found myself smiling at nothing. Glancing down at my feet, I sighed softly and felt a vibration against the back of my hip. Turning back towards the cafeteria, I dug my iPhone from the depths of my bag and unlocked the screen, immediately clicking onto my messages.  
  
 **410-663-0401**  
hit me up if u want another taste  
  
The bell sounded through the speakers above me, making me jump out of my skin as I desperately tried to keep my sudden hormones under control. Locking my phone, I shoved it back into my bag and cleared my throat. What the hell is happening to me? One minute I want nothing to do with him and the next he’s making me feel all fuzzy and weird?  
  
“There you are!” Parker exclaimed, showing up by my side. “C’mon, we’re skipping the rest of the day.”  
  
“There’s no way.” I refused, finding my voice again.  
  
“I’ve already decided it’s happening.” He informed, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “The ice cream in my freezer is calling your name and I’ll let you pick the movie we watch.”  
  
“Deal.” I agreed, already imagining the large bowl of vanilla bean ice cream in my lap.  
  
“Yes!” He cheered, steering me towards the doors quickly.  
  
I laughed, wrapping my right arm around his back as we fought our way through the crowd stampeding down the hall. We managed to squeeze through successfully and the nervous flipping inside me grew harsher the closer we got towards the exits. Glancing around frantically, I bit my lip and tried to relax when there was no sign of any teachers. Before I could really prepare myself, the door was clicking open and I was shoved into the mid-October air.  
  
“Oh my God.” I breathed, hugging my arms around my body as we stepped into the packed parking lot. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”  
  
“You’re doing it for the ice cream.” He told, nudging my shoulder. “And the cuddles.”  
  
“Cuddles?” I smirked, wiggling my eyebrows playfully.  
  
“Don’t be gross.” He groaned, pulling his keys from his pocket.  
  
“Cuddling with me isn’t gross!” I exclaimed, holding my hand over my heart.  
  
“You weren’t talking about cuddling.” He shot back, sending me a wink.  
  
“Oh please, like I would sleep with you.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes playfully.  
  
“Are you serious?” He questioned, unlocking the minivan at least five times once we were about five feet away.  
  
I rolled my lips, looking over at him silently. Clearing my throat, I ignored the strange look coating his face and forced a light laugh once he made it to the driver side.  
  
“You’re like my brother, Park.” I reasoned, trailing around the hood of the car to get to the passenger side.  
  
I pulled the door open and took my backpack off. Once I shoved it where my feet sit, I climbed into the car and pulled the door closed. Gripping my seatbelt, I buckled myself in and frowned at the tension forming between us. It didn’t make sense. Why would he get upset over me joking with him? We always joke about this kind of stuff.  
  
“Parker?” I called cautiously, noticing the way he stared through the windshield at an angle.  
  
“I just,” He started, glancing at me before looking back through the windshield. “I can’t believe you slept with _that_.”  
  
I followed his line of sight and immediately felt my heart sink into my stomach. Only ten feet across from us, Alex sat on the hood of a black pickup truck blowing thick smoke into some blonde’s opened mouth before gripping her neck and closing the small gap between them.  
  
“Yeah.” I agreed, plopping my hands into my lap. “Me either.”  
  
“I guess it’s a good thing you have zero feelings towards him, right?” He joked, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
“Right.” I muttered, looking away from the scene unfolding before my eyes. “None whatsoever.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Ugh.” I groaned miserably, wiping the remains of mouthwash from the corners of my lips with the white hand-towel from the bathroom counter.  
  
Blinking slowly, I wiped the drying water from my cheeks and stared back at my reflection. The dark bags under my eyes had my frown deepening and I sighed heavily, absolutely hating the white tint to my skin along with the uncomfortable weight in my stomach.  
  
“Jack, you’re late!” Mom exclaimed from somewhere in the house.  
  
I rolled my sore eyes and tossed the towel back on the smooth counter. Groaning, I swallowed thickly and brushed my fingers through my long hair easily. Dropping my hands back down, I watched my hair stay pushed back due to the light grease beginning to coat my roots and scowled. Trailing my eyes down, I took in my white t-shirt and paused when I caught sight of my stomach.  
  
“I’m not going!” I shouted, tears filling the corners of my eyes as I stared at the bulge stretching out of my shirt.  
  
“Yes, you are!” She yelled back, making the tears grow thicker.  
  
“I’m not.” I argued through my quivering lips, storming back into my room. “Fuck this and fuck Alex!”  
  
I jumped, stopping abruptly when my mom appeared out of nowhere. She stood in front of me with wide eyes and hands on her hips, fully dressed in her work clothes.  
  
“This is not all Alex’s fault, is it?” She tsked, shaking her head. “Just take a deep breath and calm down. Your hormones should start leveling out better as you get into the second trimester-”  
  
“Second trimester?” I whimpered, unable to keep the water from spilling over.  
  
“Yes, Jack. You’re going to be four months pregnant next week.” She confirmed, reaching out to rub my arms. “Why are you crying?”  
  
“Why do you think I’m crying?” I snapped, wiping my face roughly. “I can’t go to school looking like this.”  
  
“Like what, pregnant?” She laughed incredulously. “Newsflash, you are pregnant. You were pregnant when you went to school last week and the week before-”  
  
“You couldn’t see this one week ago!” I exclaimed, pointing to the bump poking through my shirt.  
  
“Well, you can see it now and it’s only getting bigger.” She stated. “You can’t stay home for the rest of the year because you don’t want anyone to know. That’s not how it works.”  
  
I sniffled, biting my lip hard in attempt to hold back the pathetic sobs wanting to escape. I crossed my arms over my chest tightly, trying my best to ignore the way my shirt rode up more than before. Rolling my wet eyes, I shoved passed her and stomped over to my bed angrily.  
  
“Cut the attitude and get dressed.” She called after me, sounding quieter with each word. “You’re already ten minutes late.”  
  
I rolled my eyes harder, wiping my cheeks with the backs of my hands as she walked out the door before retreating to my closet. Groaning, I pulled it open and sighed in frustration at all of the clothes hanging in front of me. Huffing, I pulled out the first black t-shirt I laid my eyes on and stared at the lowercase ‘s’ imprinted into the back of the neckline through blurred vision.  
  
“Nothing in here will fucking fit me right!” I cried out, practically throwing my body into the closet door as fresh tears rushed down my cheeks.  
I threw the shirt on the ground, moving to hold my hands over my face. I hiccupped, struggling to breathe through my endless crying while my stomach rolled uncomfortably. Swallowing thickly, I slid down the door until my butt hit the ground and wiped furiously at my cheeks. This is so unfair. Why is Alex so fucking attractive?  
  
“No.” I whimpered, holding my hands along my stomach when it churned harshly.  
  
I whined, forcing myself onto my knees and back to my feet just in time to rush right back into my bathroom. I dropped to my knees, barely hovering my head over the toilet when the bile rose up my throat.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“You’re thirty-five minutes late.”  
  
I scowled, watching Mr. Leon take the white slip from my hand and glance at the timestamp marked over it. I stayed silent, fighting the urge to let my eyes roll out of their sockets while he looked me over. Nodding at me, he motioned towards my usual seat and went back to talking about punctuation. I bit my cheek, clutching my backpack strap tighter and self-consciously pulling at my hoodie pocket as I walked across the small classroom.  
  
“Remember ladies and gentleman, punctuation is key to writing.” He lectured. “It lets the reader know how the sentence should be read.”  
  
I slipped my bag off of my shoulder and slipped into the first desk into the row furthest from the door. Pushing my bag under the desk, I unzipped it and pulled my notebook out quietly. I sniffled lightly, wiping my nose on the tip of my sleeve before pulling the pencil tucked in the rim of my notebook out and opening a new page.  
  
“Who can tell me how to properly use a-”  
  
I looked up from my blank page, feeling my heart skip a beat when Mr. Leon’s voice paused mid-sentence. Heat rushed up my neck as my eyes flickered towards his desk, quickly cooling down as soon as I realized the attention wasn’t on me.  
  
“Gaskarth, really?” He questioned, making my ears perk up.  
  
I turned in my seat, searching the back of the room until my eyes fell on Alex’s slumped figure. Him in his stupid comfy looking sweatshirt and another pair of his stupid joggers like the lazy ass he is. The hood over his head and sunglasses slung over his eyes made another ping of annoyance run through me alongside the slight surprise of seeing him in class for once. I huffed, leaning against the wall beside my desk. I spent the morning puking my brains out and getting forced into clothes while he’s hungover again and showing up when his parents probably don’t even care if he’s here or not.  
  
“For the tenth time, take off the sunglasses.” He sighed, making some laughs sound around the room. “It’s a distraction and I’m not going to let you get away with sleeping in my class.”  
  
“’m not sleepin’.” Alex muttered, leaning more into his palm over the desk.  
  
“Off.” Mr. Leon ordered. “Now, so I can get this lecture finished before the bell.”  
  
I rolled my eyes again, crossing my right leg over my left and twisting to get my notebook off the small desk. I pulled it onto my lap and stuck my pencil between my fingers, quickly scribbling the subject of the lecture on top of the page when the room got oddly silent for a few seconds.  
  
“See me after class, Alex.” Mr. Leon told, clearing his throat. “Okay, so who can tell me the correct way to use a colon?”  
  
I licked my lips, hovering my pencil over my paper while I stole a glance back over at Alex. I froze, nearly choking on my breath when I saw him slumping back in his seat calmly without the sunglasses this time. A sick feeling swirled in my gut and I felt my heart sink into my ribs as my eyes took in the purple-black, wet-looking bruise surrounding his right eye.  
  
“Jack.”  
  
I jumped, looking away from him and to the front of the room to find Mr. Leon raising his eyebrows at me. I blushed in embarrassment from getting caught staring, trying my best to look nonchalant.  
  
“Don’t come to my class late and not listen on top of it.” He scolded. “You can see me after class too.”  
  
I nodded silently, twisting around in my seat until I faced the whiteboard instead of the other desks in the room. Biting at my frowning lips, I stared into my notebook and forced myself to write down every word he spoke because there’s no way he’s not going to quiz us on this tomorrow or the next day without warning. By the time I had four pages written, the bell was sounding off through the speakers and everyone was nosily jumping out of their seats.  
  
Staying behind as told, I slowly closed my notebook and tucked my pencil back into its place before I grabbed my backpack from the ground. Once I tucked my notebook away and zipped the pocket up as slowly as possible, I slipped out of my desk and forced my backpack on. Nerves bubbled in my stomach and my heart skipped a few beats as I walked over to the large desk in the center of the room. I held my breath, nervously fiddling with the ends of my grey beanie while I stopped just in front of where he sat on top of his desk.  
  
“I’ll start with you.” Mr. Leon spoke, breaking the silence. “You’re never late. What changed?”  
  
“I was sick.” I answered quietly, looking down at the black maternity leggings clinging to my legs: courtesy of my mother.  
  
I licked my lips, getting more uncomfortable the longer I stood in front of him. His silence made the heat form back up my neck and I found my hands tucking into my pocket to keep my hoodie stretched out more than usual.  
  
“You were sick.” He repeated suspiciously, tapping his fingers on his thighs. “You look a little tired, but not sick.”  
  
I fought the urge to groan. So, I slept in and was late. How is it his business? Why does he need to know I spent my morning throwing up? I’m struggling with this mess I made myself and I’m definitely not in the mood to explain myself further. This is my business and I’m not ready for it to be out in the open. I’m not ready for his judgement or anyone’s judgement and I’m definitely not prepared to be one of the names coming out of everyone’s mouth. Once word gets out that I’m pregnant there’s only a matter of time before its known that Alex is half-responsible for it and in no way, am I looking forward to getting the backlash from all of his fucks. Boys are jerks, but girls are vicious and I’ll be dammed if I let one nosey-ass English teacher be the start of my downfall.  
  
“He’s pregnant.” Alex announced right as I opened my mouth.  
  
I gawked, my eyes stretching to their limit as I whipped around to see him standing right behind me. He stepped over beside me, plopping back over the desk behind him and tucking his hands into the pockets of his grey joggers. I blinked, feeling my heart beat rapidly in my chest while I glanced back towards Mr. Leon’s own shocked face.  
  
“Fuck you Alex.” I hissed angrily, the heat in my face intensifying as I turned back towards him instead.  
  
“You did, didn’t you?” He quipped, successfully making my blood boil.  
  
I jumped towards him, not hesitating to smack him in the chest as hard as I could. I repeated the process two more times, struggling to get in one more when I was pulled back. I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest tightly and looking back to Mr. Leon with fire in my eyes. How fucking dare he throw out my business like that when I thought I made it clear that nobody is meant to know right now.  
  
“Hey now.” Mr. Leon said calmly, raising his hands in surrender. “What’s going on here?”  
  
“Jack’s not sick, he’s pregnant and I’m wearing sunglasses because I got my ass handed to me.” Alex went on, ignoring my glare. “Can we fucking go now?”  
  
“No, you can’t go now.” He laughed humorlessly, settling his gaze back to me. “Are you actually pregnant or?”  
  
“Yes.” I answered, calming down slightly with a heavy sigh. “Four months next week and before you ask, my parents are aware.”  
  
“Okay pause,” He stopped, looking over at Alex unsurely. “I don’t think you should be involved in this conversation.”  
  
“He’s the father.” I informed, turning my attention back towards Alex. “I didn’t want anyone knowing right now, ass-hat.”  
  
“’Cause they wouldn’t notice you turning into a fucking balloon.” He mumbled, rolling his eyes at me. “If I can see it, they can.”  
  
“You know it’s there.” I argued, frowning as his words sunk into my mind and there was no stopping my hand from swatting at his head a fourth time. “I’m not a fucking balloon! You’re such a prick.”  
  
“Calm it down.” Mr. Leon warned, pushing me back another two feet from Alex. “This can’t go unmentioned, Jack. You need to speak with Mrs. Kent and Principle Wilkins. You can’t not tell anybody-”  
  
“I was going to tell everyone that needed to know when I was ready.” I cut in, glaring in Alex’s direction. “The only people I’m avoiding are the rest of the twelfth grade.”  
  
“That’s fucking stupid.” Alex scoffed.  
  
“You’re fucking stupid.” I snapped.  
  
“Knock it off, you two.” Mr. Leon ordered just as the warning bell for next period sounded.  
  
“If I’m late again I get a detention and Wilkins is gonna call my dad.” Alex told, standing back up in front of me. “Can I go?”  
  
“You can both go, but you’re not getting out of talking to me tomorrow Gaskarth.” He nodded, looking back to me. “Come back and see me at lunch, Jack.”  
  
I groaned, this time not fighting the eyeroll. I held my backpack strap tightly and made a beeline towards the door. Pulling it open, I stepped out and felt my cheeks flush at the line of students forming along the wall. Clearing my throat, I hurried down the hall and turned the corner right as the final bell for second period went off.  
  
“Dammit.” I grumbled, not in the mood to have everyone’s eyes on me a second time.  
  
“Cheer up, buttercup.”  
  
I scowled, looking up from my feet to find Alex standing almost directly in front of me.  
  
“Are you following me?” I accused, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m not in the mood.”  
  
“You’re feisty today.” He observed, sending a wink down to me.  
  
“I don’t want to look at you.” I sighed, losing the energy to yell. “You piss me off. Don’t go telling my business to anyone else.”  
  
“I was doing you a favor.” He scoffed, quirking an eyebrow. “Last time I checked that _business_ is just as much mine.”  
  
“It has nothing to do with you.” I retorted, ignoring the flutter in my gut.  
  
“It has everything to do with me, sweetheart.” He dismissed, licking his lips.  
  
“You said you were going to get a detention if you were late again.” I reminded, forcing my feet to move again.  
  
“I wanted to make sure you’re like, okay…” He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck. “You look down.”  
  
“I’m fine.” I answered, picking up my pace a little bit.  
  
“Jack, wait.” He called, grabbing onto my elbow.  
  
I slowed to a stop, turning to face him expectantly once he removed his hand. I bit my lip, feeling my heart skip when I looked up to find him already staring down at me with his light brown eyes. I breathed in deeply, slowly letting it out while I cocked my hip impatiently.  
  
“I’m going to be twenty minutes late with you taking your damn time.” I complained.  
  
“Look, I didn’t mean to blurt it to Leon.” He apologized, rubbing at his neck once more. “I uh, you clearly don’t want to be here right now-”  
  
“What’s your point?” I interrupted, raising my eyebrows.  
  
“Skip with me.” He suggested, tucking his hands back into his pockets.  
  
“What?” I laughed, covering my mouth to quiet myself down.  
  
“Skip with me.” He repeated, stepping closer. “You don’t wanna go to class. I don’t wanna go to class.”  
  
“You said-” I started, stopping when he shushed me.  
  
“I know what I said.” He chuckled, that stupid little smirk settling on his lips. “You comin’ or not?”  
  
I gnawed at my bottom lip, looking above his head until my eyes fell onto the large clock nailed above the set of lockers near us. Anxious butterflies fluttered through my chest and I knew I would be in trouble later, but that didn’t stop me from nodding my head.  
  
“Seriously?” He asked, starting to walk backwards towards the exit.  
  
“You sound surprised.” I noted, slowly following him.  
  
“I am.” He shrugged, pushing the door open and holding it open for me.  
  
I stepped outside, shivering at the cold morning air and holding my arms closer together. A new rush of nerves hit me as the seconds passed while I walked beside Alex timidly. I went back to chewing my lip, rubbing my hands up my arms as we walked towards the parking lot. Shivering, I watched my breath appear through the November chill in front of my face as we got deeper into the parking lot and nearly jumped out of my skin when I was pulled into warmth. I swallowed a deep breath, digging myself more into Alex’s warmth as his arm dangled over my shoulders loosely.  
  
“Hop in.” He said, the click of the doors unlocking filling my ears once we were in front of the black pickup truck I saw yesterday.  
  
I bit my cheek, another swarm of butterflies racing through my veins as soon as my cold fingers wrapped around the passenger door handle. Pulling lightly, it clicked open and I hopped up into the seat. Once the door closed, I slung my backpack off and dropped it by my feet before looking over just as Alex closed his own door.  
  
“I have to see Mr. Leon after lunch.” I relayed hesitantly, cursing myself for how awkward it came out.  
  
What the hell was I thinking?  
  
“I remember.” He chuckled, rubbing his hands together to warm them up.  
  
I bit at my lip, moving my gaze toward the window. Silence fell around us, thickening the tension forming and I sighed quietly. Dropping my hands in my lap, I fiddled my thumbs together and tried to hold in the chills wanting to rake through my body. Clearing my throat, I swallowed my nerves and turned sideways in the cushiony seat.  
  
“Where are we going?” I wondered, tucking my feet underneath me.  
  
“Considering the fact that Mrs. Phillips just walked out, nowhere.” He sighed, slumping in his seat as he looked at me.  
  
I frowned, peering out of the windshield until my eyes fell on the familiar figure of the hall monitor retreating back towards the small box office near the parking lots entrance.  
  
“Will she check for parking passes?” I questioned, taking in the worn red sticker in the bottom left corner of the windshield.  
  
“Nah, not ‘til after lunch.” He brushed off, dropping his keys into his cupholder.  
  
I sat still, feeling my face heat up as I stared at him. Another silence fell between us, but this time I just kept my eyes on him. His dark hair was covered by a beanie similar to mine and he still had that shadow of facial hair taking over the majority of his face. I swallowed thickly, mentally pushing the warmth stirring in my gut away. Shaking my head, I lifted my gaze from his jawline and back up to his eyes. I coughed, heat rushing to my cheeks at his raised eyebrow.  
  
“How’d you get the black eye?” I questioned, fighting my eyes to stay connected with his.  
  
“How would you get a black eye?” He asked back, rolling his eyes again.  
  
“Okay, who punched you?” I rephrased, leaning against the door with my own eyeroll.  
  
“Your mom.” He answered after a minute.  
  
“What?” I giggled.  
  
“She’s got great aim.” He went on, smiling his crooked smile when another giggle escaped me.  
  
“I know my mom is insane, but she would never be able to do something like that.” I explained softly, shaking my head.  
  
“It got you to smile.” He reasoned, shrugging his shoulder. “Are you having a better day yet?”  
  
“A little bit.” I admitted, looking down to my lap when the butterflies returned.  
  
“Yeah, how can I make it a lot better?” He asked.  
  
“I don’t know.” I blushed, hearing my heart beat through my eardrums.  
  
I tucked my arms back over my chest, shivering a little less than before from not getting hit with the wind. The longer we sat inside the truck, the warmer it seemed to get but it was still cold enough to see breath. Sighing, I leaned my head into the seat and relaxed. Warmth spread through my thigh and I held my breath, looking down to find Alex’s hand.  
  
“Would it get a lot better if you warmed up?” He asked suggestively, slowly running his hand up further.  
  
I stared down at his long fingers, watching them curl around my thigh just enough to make my stomach flip excitedly. I let out a shaky sigh, looking up from my lap as Alex’s hand pulled away. He pulled up the thick armrest between us, revealing a small middle seat before he was scooting over it and running his right hand back up my thigh.  
  
“Maybe.” I blurted, blushing hard when his face hovered just a few centimeters from mine.  
  
“You think so?” He smirked, sending tingles up my spine as his warm breath hit my lips.  
  
“I do.” I breathed, surprising myself with my flirtatious tone.  
  
I gasped, bumping my head back against the window when he pressed his lips into mine unexpectedly. I breathed in through my nose, raising my hands to his neck while his worked on spreading my legs open. I clutched his hood, squealing in surprise when my body suddenly flattened along the bench of seats and felt the warmth in my gut intensify at the hardness poking into my right thigh. I sucked in another sharp breath, arching up as his warm hands slipped underneath my hoodie and up my bare sides. Chills ran up my spine and I hummed, spreading my legs more apart to fit his hips better as he hovered above me.  
  
“Oh shit.” He mumbled, pushing his face into the crook of my neck.  
  
I gasped, tilting my head back when his lips brushed sensitive skin. I clutched at his hood a few seconds longer, moving my hands back up his neck and knocking the beanie off of his head. He chuckled, sending more chills through me as he pecked at the spot over my neck.  
  
“Do something.” I whispered, grabbing fistfuls of his thick hair.  
  
“What do you want me to do?” He whispered back, his lips barely brushing my skin.  
  
“You know what I want.” I accused, resting my legs over the back of his thighs.  
  
“Do I?” He teased, gently pecking the spot I’ve been yearning for him to touch.  
  
“Yes.” I gasped, pressing down on the back of his head to force his lips back where I wanted them.  
  
He chuckled some more, planting a much harder kiss along the side of my neck. I opened my mouth silently, already ten times warmer than I was five minutes ago as he continued to cover my neck in wet kisses. My breathing picked up and I shoved my head into the hard back-cushions of the bench when his teeth nipped the damp skin. I moaned, tightening my thighs around his hips when he nibbled harder. I tugged my fingers, the hair on the back of my arms standing up at the growl escaping his throat and vibrating through my neck. Blinking, I stared up at the dark grey ceiling and choked out another breath when the nibbling turned into harsh sucking.  
  
“Oh.” I hummed, feeling the thin material of my leggings rub up my stomach where my boner made itself known.  
  
Alex’s hands slipped underneath my back, pulling the hem of my sweatshirt up hard enough to bring the thick material up my chest and over my head along with my own beanie once he kneeled up enough to get it off of me. I looked down, my eyes casting over the bump briefly before his hot fingertips pulled my head back up how it was. I breathed in, wrapping my arms back around his neck while his lips slipped in between mine. I pressed back just as hard, forgetting all about every concern I ever had about kissing before and putting my attention on the way his tongue ran over mine.  
  
“Mm.” I whimpered, peering my eyes open when he pulled away.  
  
He pulled his hoodie over his head, followed by his t-shirt and I took the opportunity to sneak a few deep breaths in while my eyes trailed over his toned stomach. My heartbeat thumped loud in my ears as I looked over his muscular arms, the shitty lighting in the car making it impossible to admire all of the tattoos coating him before he was back on top of me. I gasped, grabbing onto his shoulders when he ground his hips into mine. I held on tightly, following his hand with my eyes as he fiddled with the glove-compartment until it opened. I licked my drying lips, taking in the bottle of lube he pulled out before slamming the glovebox closed again.  
  
“How do you wanna do this?” He rasped, using his teeth to pop the cap off of the tube.  
  
“What?” I asked breathlessly, watching him through my hazy eyes.  
  
“S’okay if I’m on top?” He proposed, tugging at the thick waistband of my leggings with his other hand.  
  
I nodded, unable to form words as I watched him yank my pants down my legs. I sucked in a deep breath through my nostrils, taking note on my fast breathing as soon as he knocked my moccasins off of my feet. I licked my lips, raising my hands to my flushed cheeks as everything hit me at once. Butterflies that felt like Ostrich erupted in my stomach and I watched him tug his joggers down in what felt like slow motion. The bulge tenting out of his red boxers made my heart pound out of my chest and I forced my gaze back up at the ceiling as the nerves from earlier hit me again full force.  
  
“Ready?” He asked, knocking me out of my daze.  
  
I bit my lip, giving him another silent nod despite my sudden anxiety.  
  
“Tell me.” He told softly, looking into my eyes.  
  
“I’m ready.” I confirmed, not willing to deny the throbbing between my legs.  
  
He leaned down, stopping so close to my lips that I could feel the coolness of his lip rings against my skin and staying there. I relaxed, closing my eyes once his nose pressed into the side of mine. Letting out a slow breath, I felt his fingers press into my hips until they were tearing my underwear off. I shivered once I felt the waistband slip over my heels, feeling completely vulnerable while Alex took in my naked body.  
  
“You look even better sober.” He examined, spreading my knees and exposing my everything.  
  
I gasped, feeling my pre-come drip up onto my stomach while I let my eyes flicker down. Alex licked his lips, staring at me with dark eyes while his hands slipped from my knees to underneath my thighs.  
  
“Fuck.” He admired, squeezing my soft skin tightly.  
  
I moaned lightly, his appreciation of my body making me feel even more warm and fuzzy inside. My sound brought his eyes back to mine, that stupid smirk making my toes curl in want. I sucked in another sharp gasp when his body collided into mine, the only thing separating us being his thin boxers.  
  
“You feel better yet, Jack?” He breathed into my ear, his hard-on rubbing against my ass perfectly.  
  
“No.” I choked out, pressing my thighs into his sides.  
  
He pressed against me, rubbing me in all the right ways and successfully making me look like an idiot with my mouth open in a silent cry. I gripped his shoulders, digging my nails into his skin in anticipation while my back arched just barely off of the seat.  
  
“I got you.” He muttered, circling a wet finger around my entrance.  
  
“Alex.” I gasped, my mind drifting from when he had time to lube up his fingers to the warmth of his first finger pushing passed its boundaries.  
  
I clutched at his shoulders, a shudder of pleasure racking through me when he curled his finger knuckle-deep. I pushed back instinctively, pressing my face into his neck when he stuck another finger in unexpectedly.  
  
“Shit, you’re tight.” He hissed, scissoring his fingers around.  
  
I bit my lip, curling my toes when his fingers began to move a little more freely. The warmth in my gut was growing stronger, making me a little nervous about lasting much longer. Before I could say anything about it, his fingers were gone and I felt so empty it was almost painful. I let out another shaky breath into his neck, running my hands back up his neck and into his hair just as the slick sound of him coating himself filled my ears.  
  
“Get in me.” I pleaded, not even embarrassed at how desperate I sounded. “I want it so bad.”  
  
“Fuck, I want it bad.” He agreed quietly, leaning on his left elbow. “Look at me.”  
  
I turned away from his neck, leaning my head back and gazing up into his eyes as an unfamiliar wet-warmth pressed over my entrance. I bit my lip anxiously, watching him as my stomach flipped in excitement and want.  
  
“I wanna see your face.” He whispered, leaning down closer to me.  
  
I hummed in acknowledgement, dropping my jaw when the warmth covering my entrance was suddenly pushing through. I spread my legs as far as they could go, pulling at his hair and struggling to keep my eyes open.  
  
“Uhn!” I exclaimed, wrapping my calves around his back. “Oh my God.”  
  
“Mm.” He grunted, his warmth filling me as much as he could go. “Call me Alex.”  
  
“Alex.” I gasped, tossing my head back. “Move already.”  
  
He obliged, pulling out and pushing back in almost instantly. I choked on my breath, unable to keep the moans from spilling out of my lips with every thrust. My mouth gaped open, the only sound getting through my ears being Alex’s low grunts mixed with the sound of his balls slapping against my skin. The hot sensation filling my lower half was intense and had me seeing stars while the pit of my gut stung with pleasure.  
  
“Oh, fuck me.” I slurred out, his warm hand tugging at my right thigh until my leg was over his shoulder. “ _Alex_!”  
  
I cried his name over and over, begging him to hit that spot that made my vision white out again without any control of myself. Everything felt so good. So good I couldn’t hear myself, so good that water is leaking from the corners of my eyes, so good that I can feel my legs shaking violently against his side and shoulder, everything _so fucking good_.  
  
“You’re gonna make me cum.” He choked out, the sound barely coming through the ringing in my ears. “Fuckin’ sound so hot.”  
  
“Alex. Alex. Oh, fuck me. _AlexAlexAlex_.” I chanted, clenching all of my muscles when it got too much too fast. “Uh, yeah. Mm.”  
  
I wrapped my arms and legs around him tightly, barely registering his hand pressing over my mouth as my eyes rolled into the back of my head. I choked out something even I couldn’t understand, sinking my teeth into one of his fingers while hot spurts of my cum shot up my stomach. I held still, coming back down to a new warmth filling me up while my body shook from over-stimulation. I gasped for breath, finally hearing the buzzing in my ears die down and taking in my cotton mouth. Swallowing dryly, I opened my tired eyes and stared up at Alex as he shook above me. Drops off sweat fell from his face, some of them landing right into my mouth and others falling onto my cheeks.  
  
“Oh.” I said weakly, tracing my fingertips over his wet shoulders. “Don’t crush the baby.”  
  
His hands stopped moving along my hips abruptly and I breathed in deeply, hearing the snap of his boxers against his skin. Humming, I wiped the drying water from the sides of my face and blinked back the sleep wanting to take over me. Forcing my eyes open with the movements beside me, I watched Alex pull his joggers back on and reach back into the glovebox almost desperately.  
  
“What’s wrong?” I croaked, pushing my fingers over my sore throat as I leaned up on my shaky elbow.  
  
“Get dressed.” He stated, pulling a pack of cigarettes out and grabbing his sweatshirt.  
  
I attempted to clear my scratchy throat, sitting up just enough to make the horrible ache in my back and ass known right as he pushed his door open. I closed my legs, causing myself more pain when I curled up to block the rush of cold air swarming through the car before the door shut again. Blinking slowly, I watched Alex try to light the cigarette between his lips three times until it finally let off some smoke before his words rang through my head.  
  
Pressing my lips together, I sat up carefully and grabbed my boxers from the floor in front of me. Sticking my feet through the holes, I pulled them up my legs and over my thighs. The waistband snapped into my hips and I grabbed my inside out leggings from the edge of the bench-seat, my stomach churning as I turned them right side in. Once I got them over my legs, I pulled my moccasins back on and wiped at my eyes some more. Looking around the small space, I found my hoodie and pulled my beanie out of the hood before slipping it back on over my head. It almost felt like a dream as I tucked my greasy hair back into it, like I’m not really here right now. Like I didn’t just have my first time all over again.  
  
I jumped, the door opening and scaring the shit out of me as I slipped my arms back into my hoodie. I laughed nervously as I looked over, shoving my cold hands into my pocket. Alex coughed, the smell of smoke filling my nostrils instantly as the air surrounding the car took over the inside due to Alex’s opened door.  
  
“Um,” He started, leaning in the door with his lit cigarette sticking more outside. “get out.”  
  
“’cuse me?” I managed to squeak out, attempting to clear my throat again.  
  
“You heard me the first time.” He muttered, looking away as he took another puff from the cancer stick.  
  
“I’m pretty sure I need a few minutes to recover.” I whispered, not wanting to strain my already weak voice.  
  
“Walking helps more than sitting.” He commented, blowing smoke through his nose.  
  
“Don’t be an asshole again.” I frowned, ignoring the flipping in my stomach. “You made me feel a lot better, y’know.”  
  
“You,” He stopped, coughing into his elbow and taking a longer inhale. “I need you to get out of my fucking truck.”  
  
“Did I do something?” I whispered, hating the sting forming in the corners of my eyes.  
  
I frowned, the burning sensation growing worse when his lifeless laugh filled my ears. I watched him breath in another sick amount of smoke through my blurring eyes before he pushed the door shut.  
  
“Get outta here before it hits ten after or you’ll be watchin’ Ashley bounce in my lap.” He announced from outside, throwing me a peace sign as he turned his back to me and walked away.


	9. Chapter 9

“Jack, you’ve hardly touched your dinner and I made you something special.” Mom pestered from across the table.  
  
I sighed, keeping my hands pressed into my thighs lifelessly as I stared down at the fried egg and slice of cheese squashed between the bagel on my plate. I sniffed lightly and felt my frown grow when the smell made my stomach feel even more like lead.  
  
“Sean.” She pressed, hitting her elbows over the table.  
  
“You need to eat, son.” Dad told, pushing my plate more towards me. “Even when you’re not hungry.”  
  
“You can’t still be angry with me for sending you to school.” She mumbled, the horrid sound of her fork scrapping against the glass plate filling my ears.  
  
“I want to sleep.” I stated, wincing as I pressed my knees together.  
  
“What happened to your voice?” She demanded, pulling my eyes from my cooling dinner.  
  
“He lost it, Jane.” Dad answered for me, placing his large palm between the back of my shoulders. “Probably from all of that crying he did.”  
  
I breathed in deeply, slumping my shoulders more as her eyes lingered on me. I stared back at her, not having the energy to even smile while she gave me a suspicious once-over. I pressed my hands between my thighs as silence took over the room, struggling to keep my sore eyes open another second.  
  
“You look worn out, baby.” She observed.  
  
My frown deepened, the familiar heat creeping up the back of my neck. Embarrassment and shame filled my gut, making me want to curl into a ball on my bed and cry my eyes out. How could I let my guard down like that? I let myself walk out of school with Alex knowing damn well he didn’t want to go get slushies, but I was just too stupid to realize his true intention until he was ripping my pants off. There was just something about him when he waited for me to come out of the classroom, something different, but I was wrong. He just used me like he uses all of the others.  
  
“Eat half of that and you can get to bed.” Dad bargained, the image of Alex above me and dripping with sweat vanishing before my eyes.  
  
Sighing heavily for the millionth time tonight, I lifted my right hand from my thighs and picked the make-shift sandwich up. I brought it to my lips effortlessly and took a small bite. Once the melted cheese hit my tongue it was a lot easier to take a second bite. Then a third. Then a fourth. Then a fifth.  
  
“So much for not being hungry.” Dad chuckled, ruffling my beanie around when he rubbed at the top of my head.  
  
I rolled my eyes, pushing my empty plate more towards the center of the small table as I shoved the last bite into my mouth. Chewing slowly, I carefully stood up and relaxed when nothing felt too bad. I pushed my chair in and wiped my mouth on my sleeve, grabbing my full glass of water before I turned to leave the kitchen.  
  
“Not so fast.” Mom rushed out, making me freeze in place. “Why don’t you sit down for a few more minutes? We need to talk.”  
  
“Mom.” I huffed, looking back at her with droopy eyes.  
  
“Sit, Habibi.” She ordered softly, pointing back to my empty seat. “I got a call from school today.”  
  
I swallowed thickly, my heart plummeting into my stomach as I got back in my seat reluctantly. I scooted in enough to lean into the table, stealing a glance at my dad scratching his beard before shoving another mouthful of potatoes into his mouth. Biting my lip, I looked back to my mom and tried to keep any kind of look off of my face.  
  
“Apparently you were supposed to have a chat with Principle Wilkins and Nurse Kent today,” She started, sucking in a breath. “but I got the call informing me of your absence during the time you were due to speak with them. However, he informed me that he did not know what he was calling the meeting for because your teacher made it clear that he was to find out from you.”  
  
“Um.” I stammered, swallowing the dry lump forming in my throat.  
  
“I informed him of the situation.” She finished, pursing her lips. “I know you’re nervous about what everyone will think of you, believe me I know how you’re feeling, but that doesn’t mean you can hide in a bathroom to avoid it.”  
  
 _“What’s wrong with him?” Cassadee panicked.  
  
“I don’t know.” Parker answered. “He won’t even look at me.”  
  
I hiccupped, practically hyperventilating as I let out another wail out of my control. Loud footsteps rang through the blood rushing through my ears and I kept my hands tucked in between my chest and legs even when two thin arms wrapped around my body. My eyes struggled to open through the thick water gluing my eyelashes together and I pushed my mouth more into my knees to drown out my sounds.  
  
“Jack.” She cooed, pulling me sideways until I leaned into her. “Jay, what’s the matter?”  
  
“He’s been like this since I found him twenty minutes ago.” Parker announced, sounding closer than before. “This bathroom is nowhere near his class, Cass.”  
  
“Jacky.” She tried again, but all I could think about was Alex.  
  
I squeezed my eyes shut, tightening my hands into fists as the ache through my body reminded me of what I’ve done. What is wrong with me? Why did I think I would be any different? He used me and I was fast to let it happen. Why did I let it happen again? I have no excuse. I was sober and coherent enough to take in every detail, how good he made me feel.  
  
“Jack.” She pleaded, pulling my head back by pushing her palm into my forehead.  
  
“N-no.” I croaked, shaking my head silently.  
  
“What’s the matter?” She questioned, looking into my unfocused eyes. “Is the baby okay?”  
  
I hummed and forced a nod, pulling my hands free to wipe at the waterfall forming along the sides of my face. Sniffling hard, I finally felt the waterworks begin to calm down while my heart thumped painfully in my chest. I heaved a sigh, quickly sucking in another deep breath right after. The burning in my lungs subsided and the stinging in my eyes dulled as an ache formed above the bridge of my running nose. Blinking hard, I forced the last few droplets out and stared down at my curled fingers while my body shook with remaining hiccups.  
  
“Jesus Christ, Jack.” Parker sighed in relief, suddenly kneeling in front of me. “You were fucking inconsolable, what the fuck?”  
  
“Real nice Parker.” Cassadee snapped, hugging me closer. “What happened, Jay?”  
  
“J-Just hold m-me?” I stammered through shaky breaths, pressing myself into her side harder.  
  
“Of course.” She whispered, re-situating around me more comfortably. “Sh, I got you.”_  
  
“You’re seventeen years old, Jack.” Mom went on, bringing me out of my flashback. “Not to mention, you’re going to be a father. You need to accept it and stop trying to hide from it because it’s not going to go away.”  
  
My frown deepened, the same dreadful feeling filling my gut like it did when I first found out. Gulping, I looked down at the table for a few seconds before I let my gaze lift back towards hers.  
  
“What if I don’t want to?” I rasped, not mentioning that I wasn’t hiding in the bathroom to escape my teachers.  
  
“Excuse me?” She gaped, raising her eyebrows.  
  
“I don’t want to be a dad.” I deadpanned, crossing my arms over my chest. “So, I’m sorry if it’s so fucking hard for me to accept.”  
  
“Watch your mouth, Jack.” Dad warned.  
  
“If you really feel that way,” Mom paused, frown lines forming across her forehead. “we can look into adoption like I’ve said before. The only problem with that, is we need the other father to sign over his parental rights before we can start that process. And let’s not forget that adoption takes some decent time, so we’ll need to get started as soon as possible and I still haven’t heard from-”  
  
“Okay, Jane.” Dad cut in, holding my glass of water out to me. “This doesn’t need to be decided right this second. Hell, this isn’t a decision that can be made in five minutes so relax and let him get some rest. He clearly had a long day.”  
  
I took the glass of water, gulping down two long sips in attempt to stop my head from spinning. I swallowed slowly, grimacing at the throbbing in my temple while the room grew tense. Nerves flopped around my stomach and everything felt weird as her voice repeated in my mind going a mile a minute. Adoption never sounded so intimidating.  
  
“Okay, Sean.” She sighed. “I’m just saying I still haven’t heard from Jeremy, which is a problem because I need to know where he stands. Or more importantly, where Alex stands.”  
  
“He could care less.” I blurted, getting more lightheaded when both sets of eyes burned into my face.  
  
“I don’t know about that, son.” Dad disagreed, leaning on his elbows.  
  
“I’m pretty sure all he cared about was getting between my legs.” I commented, his loud choking filling my ears beside me.  
  
“Get to bed.” He coughed, taking a drink of his beer. “I need to talk with your mother.”  
  
I tried to stifle my yawn, failing miserably while my eyes watered. Nodding, I slipped out of my chair and grabbed my water from the table again. Sipping at it, I looked between them one more time before turning my back and finally escaping the kitchen. I yawned again, groaning quietly as I staggered up the steps. Turning right into my room, I walked over to my bed and set my glass on the nightstand beside it before rolling down into the soft mattress.  
  
The darkness filling my eyes brought me a sense of peace and I tucked myself under my covers, curling into myself on my side. I closed my eyes, huffing at the stiff feeling settling in my bones. Rolling onto my back, I kicked the blankets from under my feet and huffed. Lifting my head, I pushed my blanket to my hips and bit my lip harshly. Slipping my hands up my sides, I squinted through the dark and watched my fingertips linger at the hem of my crewneck before I slowly pulled it up my chest. The strip of light from the hallway barely lit the space near the edge of my bed, but it gave enough dim light for my eyes to focus on the bump I’ve been trying to avoid. I gnawed my lip, slowly sliding my fingers over the hardness.  
  
“You’re really in there.” I whispered shakily, my eyes growing wetter as I felt around. “You have a heartbeat which means you can probably hear me too. Or not.”  
  
I sniffled, laying my head back against my pillow while my hands cradled around my belly. I struggled to keep the warm tears in my eyes, slowly running my hands in circles over the bump. There’s a baby inside of me and all I’ve been doing is ignoring them. This is a part of me whether I like it or not.  
  
“I’ve been so negative about you and it’s not your fault.” I spoke quietly, biting back my quivering lip. “I just don’t want my life to change and that’s all you’re gonna do.”  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“Are you up?!”  
  
I licked my lips, keeping my eyes on the strands of hair I ran my comb through quickly. After three more times of running it up and down, I dropped the comb back onto the counter and ran my fingers through my rough hair.  
  
“Oh.”  
  
I turned to the opened door, looking over my mom’s surprised face before going back to situating my teased hair. I hummed, getting it to sit just right and spraying a long squirt of hairspray over it. Setting the can down, I wiped my fingers under my eyes gently enough to keep the foundation from smearing before I tugged at the tight hem of my white crewneck. I bit my lip, looking over the way the thin material clung to my sides. My bump popped through noticeably underneath the large, black Adidas logo and I sucked in another shaky breath.  
  
“I was going to tell you that you could stay home today.” She revealed, stepping up beside me. “It’s Friday and I know yesterday was rough on you.”  
  
“I’m okay.” I said, taking a step back to admire the light blue jeans glued to my legs.  
  
“The jeans fit you well, I see.” She observed, pinching at my side where the belly band ended just over my ribs. “I told you I had pretty good taste and they’re skinny jeans just like you love.”  
  
“Thank you.” I mumbled, wiping my hands over my thighs.  
  
“You’re welcome, Habib.” She chimed, pressing a dry kiss to my cheek.  
  
I smiled a little, feeling the nerves bubbling in my gut simmer down just a tad. The loud vibration of my phone next to the sink broke the comfortable silence and I swiped it up, unlocking the screen quickly.  
  
“Oh, um,” I started, clearing my throat and ruffling the back of my hair with my free hand. “Parker’s picking me up.”  
  
“Oh, good.” She smiled in relief, brushing her long black skirt off. “I was planning on you staying home so I waited longer to check in on you.”  
  
“I figured I should get it over with, right?” I shrugged, biting back at my lip.  
  
“That’s my boy.” She smiled, pulling my in for another kiss on the cheek. “I do have some news for you, but we’re going to talk about it later.”  
  
“Mom.” I whined, hating the suspense. “I’m going to freak out about that all day.”  
  
“It’s nothing bad.” She reassured, backtracking out of my room. “Have a wonderful day, baby.”  
  
“I’ll try.” I muttered, giving myself another once-over before flicking the light off and stepping back into my room.  
  
The honk of Parker’s horn made the butterflies sky-rocket through my chest and I grimaced, re-thinking my choice to go to school period let alone dressed like this. Shaking my head, I grabbed my dark grey zip-up and pulled it over my arms quickly. After flicking my light off, I dug my phone into my pocket and jogged down the steps. I slipped into my moccasins and grabbed my backpack from the ground, sucking a deep breath through my nose and pulling the front door open. I whined immediately at the cold chill hitting my uncovered skin, pulling the door shut behind me and speed-walking to the passenger door of Parker’s van. I shivered, pulling it open easily and tugging it shut before I was even all the way inside.  
  
“Damn, you made an effort today.” He commented, turning the heat up as I buckled my seatbelt.  
  
“This is how I dress.” I retorted, rolling my eyes at him.  
  
“Yeah, before you got pregnant.” He corrected, chuckling as he back out of the driveway. “You look good, by the way.”  
  
“Well, I couldn’t be a bum forever.” I sighed, leaning on the center council. “I was running out of sweats.”  
  
“You only have like three pairs of sweats and two of them are mine.” He laughed, turning the radio down.  
  
I giggled along with him, tucking my cold hands into my warm pockets as I sunk back into the seat. Silence fell between us giving my nerves time to grow as we got closer to the school’s parking lot. There’s no way I can wear this hoodie all day today. It would be too warm with the fuzzy inside designed for fall and winter weather. My long-sleeve will have me roasting in it in five minutes once we walk into the heat of the high school.  
  
“What are you thinking about?” Parker asked, pulling my eyes from the scenery passing us by.  
  
I shrugged, looking at him from under my straightened bangs. Biting at my lip, I took in his dark hair spiked out of his face and into a fo-hawk before my eyes trailed over his tired face. I blinked, finding him quirking his eyebrows at me before my eyes fell to his Chainsmokers hoodie.  
  
“Jack.” He called, the car slowing down considerably.  
  
I looked through the window, watching everyone fight to find the closet parking spots as we drove by.  
  
“Does this have something to do with the state I found you in yesterday?” He questioned cautiously.  
  
“I’m just nervous.” I admitted, keeping my eyes glued to the kids crowding around different areas outside. “Principle Wilkins, Nurse Kent, and Mr. Leon know. I’m almost positive that everyone else will come to the conclusion once I walk through the school without a hoodie twice my size.”  
  
“Oh.” He drawled, finding a decent spot near the main entrance. “Is that what had you bawling in the bathroom?”  
  
“Yeah.” I answered shortly, unbuckling my seatbelt with trembling fingers.  
  
“It’s going to be fine, Jack.” He comforted, patting my thigh. “You’re not the only pregnant kid around.”  
  
“I’m the only one pregnant by Alex.” I reminded, biting my lip when the engine cut off.  
  
“As far as we know.” He scoffed.  
  
I scowled, swallowing thickly as my stomach churned. I pushed the door open and stepped out smoothly, closing the door without a glance around me. Slinging my backpack over my right shoulder, I stuffed my hands into my pockets and took off across the parking lot with Parker catching up beside me.  
  
“Jesus, can you run a little faster?” He joked, pulling the door open for me as I rushed forward.  
  
“Not fast enough.” I said, gripping the insides of my pockets as I turned into the familiar hall with my locker.  
  
“Deep breaths.” He reminded, draping his warm arm over my shoulders.  
  
I relaxed instantly, slumping into his side easily as he led me down the corridor. I took a deep breath, loosening my fists in my pockets as we grew closer to my locker. Parker’s strong cologne filled my senses, somehow managing to take away my anxiety for the most part and I smiled, tugging my left arm free and wrapping it around his back.  
  
“See? Not so hard.” He chirped, sticking his hand out and spinning my combo into my lock within seconds. “Don’t look so freaked out. It’s not going to be as bad as you think, I promise.”  
  
“You promise?” I pouted, leaning my head back into his shoulder in order to look up at him through my widened eyes.  
  
“I promise.” He repeated, grinning down at me like a maniac. “If anyone has a problem, I’ll kick their ass.”  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
I rolled my eyes in annoyance, taking the small cup of water held out to me and taking a small sip before shoving the quarter-sized gummy into my mouth. I chewed loudly, swallowing hard and sticking my tongue out to show everything went down alright.  
  
“No need to be so dramatic.” Mrs. Kent said disapprovingly, taking the cup from me once I drank the rest of the water.  
  
“I already took my vitamin this morning when I woke up.” I informed, swinging my legs as I sat on top of the cot in the corner of the room behind her office.  
  
“Your doctor recommends twice a day until you’re caught up.” She reminded, twisting the cap on my prescription and tucking it back into the cabinet behind my head. “Preferably when you wake up and in the afternoon, which is why you’ll be seeing me before lunch from now on.”  
  
“Okay.” I agreed, knowing it would do no help to argue.  
  
I pressed my palms into the uncomfortable plastic underneath me coating the cot just like any other doctor’s office and tilted my head back. Cool air rushed down the front of my shirt from my movement and I sighed, wishing my whole body could feel it.  
  
“It’s got to be seventy degrees in the building, Jack.” She informed.  
  
I bit my lip, sitting back up and slouching uncomfortably in my jacket. I shrugged in attempt to show I didn’t care, but the beads of sweat beginning to form across my forehead told otherwise. Swallowing thickly, I tugged at the zipper near my neck and pulled it down until it disconnected. The heat escaping my chest was enough to help me pull my arms out and I moaned in sweet relief once I was free from the faux fur.  
  
“My God, are you trying to dehydrate yourself?” She scolded, pressing a wet cloth over my forehead.  
  
“More like disappear.” I answered honestly, closing my eyes and taking the cloth from her.  
  
“You’re not going to disappear.” She stated dryly. “It’s impossible and I don’t want to see you put yourself in danger again.”  
  
“I-” I stopped, sinking back at her stern gaze. “Okay. I’m sorry.”  
  
“You can pick the jacket up before you leave today, alright?” She suggested, tucking it into her elbow. “Your shirt will keep you warm enough throughout the day.”  
  
“Fine.” I nodded, wiping my cheeks and neck. “Is my makeup ruined?”  
  
“Just a little patchy.” She noted, leaning closer and sticking her thumb out. “Hold still.”  
  
I closed my eyes, feeling the soft pad of her thumb rub soothing circles under my left eye before repeating the process to my right.  
  
“There.” She clapped. “I’ll get you a water bottle and you can be on your way.”  
  
“Thank you.” I whispered, watching her leave the room.  
  
I sighed, crumbling up the damp cloth and setting it on the cot beside me. Wiping my hands over my thighs, I pulled at the hem of my shirt and shook it out a bit in attempt to loosen it up. Shaking my head, I pressed my palms back over my stomach and let out another heavy breath.  
  
“Here you are, my dear.” Mrs. Kent chirped, holding the cold water out to me.  
  
I took the bottle from her with a small smile, carefully jumping down from the cot. I tugged my pants up and situated the hem of my shirt enough to cover where the belly band began. Tucking the bottle into my elbow, I ruffled at my hair and rolled my lips together as I procrastinated another minute.  
  
“You’re fine, Jack.” She laughed lightly. “Go on before you miss your chance to eat.”  
  
“I’m going.” I confirmed, slowly walking towards the opened door.  
  
“Don’t be afraid to tell me anything now.” She called. “You hear me?”  
  
“I hear you.” I nodded, unable to help the smile taking over my face.  
  
Shaking my head, I stepped through her office and back out into the main hall once again. I walked towards the direction of the cafeteria, self-consciously wrapping my arms around my torso to replace my lack of jacket. The silence rang in my ears, soon replaced by echoes bouncing around the walls from the students already in the cafeteria. Rubbing my bony elbows, I sucked it up and pushed through the closed doors with a wince. I stepped inside, flickering my gaze around and sighing with relief when nobody stared at me. The talking didn’t stop around me like a dramatic movie scene and nobody seemed to look my way.  
  
“About fucking time.”  
  
I jumped, stopping in my tracks only to realize it was Parker’s voice coming from beside me. I looked over, finding him seated at a quiet table with Cass and Lynn already seated across from him.  
  
“Sit down, Jay-Jay.” Lynn ordered, pointing to the free space on the end.  
  
“I was with the nurse.” I mentioned, slipping down into the seat rather quickly.  
  
“We know that, but they’re just impatient.” Cass announced, sliding a plastic container filled with salad in front of me.  
  
“You said we weren’t allowed to eat until he got here!” Parker defended, shoving his piece of pizza into his mouth.  
  
“Cass.” I frowned, immediately getting shushed.  
  
“We eat together.” Lynn recited, dropping a plastic form on top of the lid. “Now start munching, mommy.”  
  
“Oh my God.” I laughed, feeling like my normal-self for once. “Don’t call me that.”  
  
“Seriously though, start eating.” Cass pushed, pulling the lid open for me and sticking the fork in. “We only have like, fifteen minutes you slowpoke.”  
  
“Excuse me for getting lectured about vitamins.” I smiled, stabbing the fork into some lettuce. “You didn’t even get me dressing.”  
  
“Who needs dressing?” Lynn asked, pushing my hand towards my mouth. “It’s unhealthy for you anyway.”  
  
“Says you!” I exclaimed, rolling my eyes playfully and shoving the mouthful between my lips anyway.  
  
“She doesn’t even know what salad is.” Parker stated, draping his left arm over my shoulders and leaning into me. “All she eats is McDonalds.”  
  
I giggled, hearing the usual bickering between them start up while I kept my focus on eating my salad. I hummed through another forkful, feeling my stomach flip pleasantly for once as it got filled. Breathing in through my nose, I untwisted my water and took a refreshing gulp while I rested into Parker’s soft side. Licking my lips, I set the bottle back next to my salad and lifted my gaze across the cafeteria instinctively. I jumped, unable to keep my body from freezing when my eyes locked with Alex’s.  
  
“You okay?” Parker asked, leaning close to my ear.  
  
I stared back at Alex, watching him remain slumped over the corner of the table across the room. His face was blank, sending chills down my spine as he brought his own water to his lips without breaking eye contact. I frowned, hurt piercing through my gut while yesterday flashed through my mind.  
  
“Jacky?” Parker cooed playfully, nudging my cheek with his nose.  
  
I blinked, shaking the memories from my head and turning my attention back to Parker.  
  
“I’m fine.” I smiled, scooping another bit of lettuce into my mouth. “Thought I was gonna be sick.”  
  
“Stop shoveling that salad down your throat so fast and you won’t feel like puking.” He chuckled, squeezing my shoulder before letting his hand fall loosely over my shoulder again.  
  
“I’m done already.” I noted, pushing the almost-empty bowl away from me and licking my lips.  
  
I wiped over my mouth, looking over the table for a few seconds before drifting my gaze back towards Alex. I bit my lip, looking away almost instantly when his eyes met mine again like he never looked away in the first place. Clearing my throat, I wrapped my arms over my stomach and leaned into Parker while I zoned in on them talking about the fall weather going straight into feeling like winter.  
  
“Gaskarth!”  
“Yo!”  
  
I sat up, looking across the cafeteria where the yells came from only to see a group of three guys standing at the table Alex was just sitting at. Furrowing my eyebrows, I scanned around the table and over towards the doors just in time to catch Alex’s body slipping through the double doors on the opposite end of the cafeteria.  
  
“I’m telling you, I can’t wait for those sugar cookies at Jack’s.” Parker gushed girlishly, bringing me back to our table.  
  
“Oh yeah, they’re so good.” Lynn agreed. “I can’t believe Christmas is so close.”  
  
“We still have like, two weeks until Thanksgiving guys.” Cassadee laughed, collecting my trash from in front of me. “Which reminds me, are we doing anything fun over break?”  
  
“I have to pee.” I blurted, an uncomfortable push pressing over my bladder.  
  
“Hurry back so I can walk with you to class.” Parker told, lifting his arm off of my shoulders.  
  
“Will do.” I noted, walking around the table and heading towards the closest set of doors.  
  
I pressed my lips together, pushing through the doors easily and stepping back into the quiet halls. Twiddling my fingers, I turned left and headed towards the bathroom right around the corner. I grabbed the hem of my shirt, slowly inching towards the door and hoping to find the bathroom empty. I pulled at the door, wincing at the screech of the hinges bouncing off the walls as I stepped in. I grimaced at the smell of disinfectant, my eyes squinting to adjust in the dim light as I made my way to one of the three vacant stalls.  
  
I locked the door behind me, sighing in relief when I pulled myself free. I let go, practically moaning at the pressure leaving me as I emptied my bladder in peace. Shaking myself off, I tucked back in and flushed the toilet with my foot before getting out and walking over to the sink. Switching the water on, I squeezed some soap from the dispenser beside the handles and quickly rubbed it into my hands knowing the bathroom wouldn’t stay empty for long. Not even a second after the thought ran through my mind, I heard the door squeak open and heavy footsteps pad along the dirty tiled floor.  
  
I held my hands under the water, glancing behind me through the mirror and barely getting a glimpse of the body practically falling into the center stall behind me. I gasped, rinsing the rest of the soap from my hands quickly when loud retching filled my ears. I shook my hands out and turned the water off before grabbing two sheets of paper towel from the dispenser to my right. Drying my hands off the best I could, I crumbled them up to use as a cover to open the dirty door. I stepped away from the sink, letting my curiosity get the best of me as I peered into the stall. I stopped, recognizing him immediately.  
  
“Alex?” I asked softly, grimacing at the sound of his vomit spilling into the toilet a second time.  
  
He coughed, practically hacking up a lung before his body fell sideways into the wall. Biting my lip, I cursed my good heart for keeping my feet glued to the floor instead of letting me leave without looking back like my mind told me to. Heaving a sigh, I cautiously stepped closer to the stall and covered my mouth when the smell met my nose. I leaned into the opened door, watching his eyes nearly roll out of his head the second they met mine. He chuckled, a glob of spit escaping his wet lips and dribbling down his chin. I grimaced, the leftover vomit staining his chin failing to keep my own stomach from twisting sickly. I held my breath, maneuvering my leg to kick at the flusher before I had the chance to taste my salad a second time and I looked away as the mess went down the drain. Sighing, I dropped my hand from my face and re-folded the damp paper towels into more of a napkin.  
  
“Are you,” I started in disbelief, leaning down a bit closer. “Are you _drunk_?”  
  
“Pfffh.” He scoffed, confirming my assumption when his breath hit my face. “Nope.”  
  
“You reek of booze.” I informed, standing up straight with an eyeroll. “Why am I here?”  
  
“I dunno.” He scoffed, crossing his legs in front of him. “I don’ feel good.”  
  
“Clearly.” I agreed.  
  
I rolled my eyes, biting my lip in embarrassment while his glazed eyes looked me up and down. I swallowed the lump in my throat, replaying his words from yesterday in my mind. My stomach flipped in dislike and I frowned, hating the jealousy coursing through me at the thought of him going for another round in the truck not even an hour after I gave myself to him like I did.  
  
“I need to go to class.” I blurted, tossing the towels into his lap. “I don’t even know why I’m standing here in the first place.”  
  
“You like me.” He slurred.  
  
“I don’t.” I scoffed, butterflies erupting throughout my chest.  
  
“A lot.” He mumbled, leaning his head back along the hard wall. “You wouldn’ let me fuck you like that if you don’t.”  
  
I flushed, wanting to punch his stupidly attractive face for looking so smug. Scowling instead, I crossed my arms over my chest and side-stepped only for his hands to reach around me. I groaned in frustration, confusion mixing in while his hands settled over my hips. I blinked down at him, the butterflies intensifying as his eyes stared into my stomach.  
  
“Alex,” I trailed off, watching him lean forward.  
  
“Fuck.” He whispered, tightening his fingers around my hips.  
  
“What are you-“ I stopped, unable to move my hands quick enough before his face was pressed into my stomach. “Alex! Ew ew ew.”  
  
I shoved at his shoulders, shockingly knocking him away in the first try. He fell back against the wall and dropped his hands limply into his lap, my eyes immediately falling to the orange-brown stain smeared form where his chin made contact. I held my hands out, pinching the Adidas logo down to inspect the damage.  
  
“I’m wearing white.” I hissed, pulling the damp material away from me.  
  
I looked down at him, my anger softening once I met saw his paling face. Another sigh left my lips and I stepped out of the small cubicle, making my way back towards the sink. I pulled a dry towel from the dispenser and pressed it under the dripping faucet. Once it was wet enough, I folded it into fours and walked back over to Alex’s slumped form. I bit my lip, ignoring my disgust momentarily and swiping the towel over the remaining substance drying near his lips.  
  
“Are you okay?” I asked quietly, tossing the crumbled paper into the toilet once his face was clean.  
  
“Fuckin’ peachy.” He answered, throwing his hand up in an okay motion.  
  
“I’m gonna,” I started, pausing when he pulled his sweatshirt over his head. “what are you doing?”  
  
He held it out to me, slumping against the wall further. I stared at the black hoodie silently, shaking my head once I pulled it from his loose grasp.  
  
“I can’t wear this.” I told, staring over his exposed arms. “All of your friends would know it’s yours.”  
  
“And?” He sighed, running his hands over his face.  
  
“And?” I mocked, tossing the sweater back into his lap. “They’ll wonder why I’m wearing it and I’m-”  
  
“You’re carrying my fucking baby.” He stated, pressing his fingers into his eyes.  
  
I jumped, widening my eyes when he leaned forward. His hands wrapped around my hips, pulling my shirt up in the process. I stayed silent, watching as he pressed his forehead into the bellyband covering my skin. I sucked in a shaky breath, feeling my heart thump out of my chest more as the seconds passed slowly. I licked my lips, keeping my hands raised a few inches over his shoulders while he breathed against me.  
  
“You deserve the world.” He whispered loudly, squeezing at my hips.  
  
I held my hand over my mouth, fingers shaking as he stayed glued to me for another minute straight. The bell signaling the end of lunch pierced through the bathroom, bringing me back to reality. I gently pushed at his shoulders, biting my cheek when he willingly pulled away at the same time. Dropping my hands, I watched him pull the black ACDC shirt from his chest and hold it out to me just like he did with the sweatshirt. I took it from his hands and held it to my chest, watching him sway as he tried to pull the hoodie back over his chest. Shaking the t-shirt out, I stuck it between my legs and pulled my crewneck over my head very carefully.  
  
“Jack?”  
  
I jumped, throwing the t-shirt over my head as fast as I could. Alex’s head popped through the hoodie as he struggled to get his arms through and I pressed my finger to my lips, practically jumping out of the stall with my shirt hanging out my elbow. Parker came into my line of vision right away and I laughed breathlessly, stepping towards him until his back pressed into the door.  
  
“Took you long enough, did you have to shit?” He joked, bright light flooding my vision as the door opened for us.  
  
“No.” I glared, rushing us back into the hall. “I’m pregnant.”  
  
“Okay, jeez.” He chuckled, holding his hands up in surrender. “You want to stop at your locker?”  
  
I nodded, stepping closer to him once the crowd grew thicker between halls. I sighed tugging the loose shirt from my stomach as we rounded the corner, biting at my lip when it felt like a million more eyes burning into me instead of just Parker’s.  
  
“Is that,” He began to ask, moving to stop in front of me. “is that a hickey on your neck?”  
  
“What?” I gasped, instinctively pressing my hand over the spot I begged Alex to touch.  
  
“I never said where on your neck.” He retorted, raising his eyebrows up in surprise.  
  
“Shut up.” I whispered, glancing around the hall as we stayed close to the wall.  
  
“What the fuck?” He frowned, blocking my view of everyone else. “Why didn’t you tell us? Who was it?”  
  
“I don’t want to talk about this right now.” I whispered, looking down at my stomach.  
  
I gulped, heat climbing up my neck at the noticeably worn state of the t-shirt. Rolling my lips in, I crossed my arms in attempt to cover the faded band logo and continued to step back around Parker. I breathed in through my nose, hurrying towards my locker with him right on my heels.  
  
“That’s not your shirt.” He observed, watching me spin my combination. “And it certainly isn’t mine.”  
  
“I wasn’t fucking anyone in the bathroom.” I snapped, throwing my crewneck inside and grabbing my backpack from the hook. “Just drop it, okay?”  
  
He followed through with silence and a pang of guilt rang through me, but at the same time I didn’t really care. Knowing that I have a visible hickey on my neck now is really that’s all on my mind. Well, that and the fact that I left Alex in the bathroom drunk out of his mind.  
  
“Let’s just get to class.” He concluded, shutting my locker once I pulled my backpack over my shoulder.  
  
“Yeah.” I agreed, digging my hand into my back pocket when my phone buzzed.  
  
I pulled it free and swiped my thumb over the screen, opening the new text message right away.  
  
 **From: Mom  
Your father and I decided we’re going back to Alex’s tonight. We’re going to talk about options and whatnot. I’ll be there to pick you up after school.  
Xoxo**


	10. Chapter 10

“I feel sick.” I announced, cupping my hands over my stomach.  
  
I swallowed, standing in the middle of the kitchen while my mom continued to set mugs around the kitchen table. I frowned, feeling my stomach flip harder as the seconds passed and flickered my gaze to my dad. He smiled sympathetically, rolling his sleeves up before he poured another pot of coffee into the large coffee server they had for special occasions. This is not what I would call one of those times.  
  
“Stop complaining and sit down, Jack.” Mom called, brushing her hair behind her ears. “Do you think they take cream and sugar, Sean? Or what if they prefer tea? Jeremy is at least seven months pregnant-”  
  
“Calm down, Jane.” Dad chuckled, stepping around the island and over towards the table beside her. “If he wants tea, we’ll make him tea.”  
  
“I’m going to throw up all over the floor.” I warned, sticking my thumbs into the thick black waistband of my yellow, black and white plaid pj pants.  
  
“Jack.” Mom sighed, rubbing her forehead. “Okay, whatever. Go to your room.”  
  
“Stay right there, Jack. We didn’t reschedule and invite them over here for you to hide in your room and go to sleep again.” Dad scolded, setting the coffee on a hot pot pad in the center of the table and looking over at me. “We’re getting together so we can discuss your baby, Jack. We can’t keep pushing it back, it’s best we do it on a day like today where Mom and I are both home.”  
  
“I don’t want to make any decisions right now.” I snapped, feeling the weight of the world over my shoulders. “I want to sleep the day away.”  
  
“You have to. You slept the day away yesterday as soon as you got home from school.” He retorted sternly, pointing towards a chair. “Whether you like it or not, you’re going to be giving birth in six short months and you can’t ignore that. Not to mention you’ve made what you want pretty clear with your attitude, so let’s just talk about it okay?”  
  
“No, I haven’t.” I sniffled, feeling my eyes water. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t have any money, I still don’t know how to drive, I don’t know what to do with a baby and I need to graduate high school so I can get into a good college and- and I-”  
  
I stopped, loud sobs escaping my mouth instead of more words. I closed my eyes and covered my face with my hands, feeling my chest heave as I tried to breathe. My cheeks burned in embarrassment as my loud cries echoed around the kitchen and I hiccupped into my palms, smearing snot all over my fingers as I blocked my ugly crying face from their eyes. Comforting weight surrounded me and the hard feel of the body let me know it was my dad holding me close to him. Whimpering, I barely registered the comforting slurs of Arabic filling my ears over the loud doorbell sounding through the house. He told me to calm down and take some deep breaths, slowly pulling me over to the sink. I whimpered, reluctantly allowing him to pull my hands from my face.  
  
“You’re not doing this alone and you have plenty of time to do all of that.” He reminded, wiping my tears away with his hands before swiping the paper towel between his fingers over my slimy nose. “Blow.”  
  
I obeyed, closing my eyes and breathing hard out through my nose. I grimaced, hearing all of the built-up boogers release into the napkin before he pulled it away and folded it in half. He repeated the fold, wiping under my nose and over my mouth before he pressed a kiss to my head.  
  
“Wash your hands.” He suggested warmly, moving me towards the sink as muffled talking grew closer to the kitchen.  
  
“We have coffee set out, but I could make you some tea?” Mom offered, loud and clear as she came back into the room.  
  
“Tea would be nice.” Jeremy said politely, making my stomach somersault. “Thanks.”  
  
“Coming right up.” Mom chirped.  
  
I shook my wet hands out and pressed under my eyes before pulling a few paper towels from the roll on the counter. I dried my hands slowly, making sure to pat my eyes dry instead of rub while I turned to peek towards the kitchen table. I tossed the balled napkins in the garbage, swallowing the lump lodged in my throat and relaxing a smidge when I found Jeremy sitting at the table calmly by himself. He had his hair pulled back into a bun again, this time bundled in a heavy zip-up and a scarf.  
  
“Do you take sugar?” Mom questioned, pulling a tea bag from the cupboard above the stove.  
  
“Two scoops.” Jeremy nodded, finding my gaze from across the room.  
  
I gulped, twiddling my thumbs together while I stood beside the garbage can pressed into the side of the small island.  
  
“Coming right up.” Mom clapped, clearing her throat. “Jeremy, this is my husband Sean.”  
  
“Nice to meet you, Sean.” Jeremy stated. “Sorry my other half couldn’t be here.”  
  
“Likewise, Jeremy.” Dad greeted. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure we’ll get everything settled just fine once we all sit down.”  
  
“Speaking of, I need to go make sure my son hasn’t run off.” He sighed, scooting the chair back noisily.  
  
I bit the inside of my cheek, feeling nauseous at the thought of seeing Alex after our little confrontation yesterday. Butterflies fluttered across my stomach as my mind flashed back to him holding me close and pressing his face into my stomach, into the baby. I shook the memory from my mind, feeling my face heat up all over again. What is wrong with me? He was really drunk and probably clueless to what he was doing. Why am I getting butterflies when I think about him? How can such an asshole make my stomach twist in such a good way when he practically stomped on my heart after I spread my legs for him? Is this just how pregnant people feel?  
  
“Take a seat next to Mom, Jack.” Dad urged, pushing me forward.  
  
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and slowly walked over to the round table. Biting my lip, I slowly slid into the seat to the right of my mom and crossed my arms over my stomach anxiously. Her hand immediately pressed into my back, rubbing soothing circles between my shoulder blades. Licking my lips, I rubbed my elbows and sunk more into my seat when the front door closed louder than expected.  
  
“Get your ass in there and sit down with me.” Jeremy snapped loudly, walking into the kitchen with his head looking over his shoulder. “Put those away.”  
  
I bit my lip, watching Jeremy sit back in the seat across from me. He scooted in a little and unwrapped the scarf from his neck before setting it on the table beside the coffee mug my mom put there for him. He curled his hands around it and lifted it to his lips, closing his eyes as he took a sip. Blinking, I flickered my gaze to the doorway and brought my fingers up to my lips as Alex took the seat next to Jeremy. He plopped down lazily, adjusting the black beanie over his head before crossing his arms over the Raven’s logo across his chest.  
  
“So,” Jeremy started, setting his cup back down with a sigh. “What are your thoughts?”  
  
I swallowed, picking at my bottom lip anxiously while my eyes flickered back to Alex. He stared down at the table, giving off no expression at all while he slumped down into the thin backing of the chair. The bruise under his eye looked worse than yesterday and the bags underneath each eye were definitely more swollen, making me feel like he never slept the hangover off and that kind of explains his dead-like behavior. Releasing my lip from my fingers, I glanced at my parents to find them already looking at me and felt my face flush for the millionth time.  
  
“I think we’re leaning towards adoption.” Mom revealed, looking back in front of her.  
  
“Is that okay with, um,” Dad trailed off awkwardly, snapping his fingers.  
  
“It’s more than okay, right Jay?” Jeremy answered, clinking his mug back onto the table and looking to Alex before meeting my eyes. “I was just going to suggest that.”  
  
“It’s not one hundred percent yet, but-”  
  
“It needs to be.” Jeremy commented, cutting my Dad off.  
  
“Excuse me?” Mom asked in surprise, pausing her movements over my back.  
  
“The adoption needs to be one hundred percent.” Jeremy repeated like she was stupid, pointing his thumb towards Alex. “He’s got bills to pay, he’s not going to pay child support for the next eighteen years and I’ll be dammed if I have another little shit running around my home.”  
  
I pressed my lips together, fighting the scoff sitting on the edge of my tongue. Scraping my teeth over the tip of my tongue, I looked over at Alex and crossed my arms higher up my chest when he remained emotionless.  
  
“You’re fucking irritating.” He spoke up, surprising me and sounding hoarse as his gaze lifted to meet mine for the first time since he came in. “You can’t decide that shit.”  
  
“Don’t call me fucking irritating.” Jeremy scolded, raising his hand in warning. “You’re incompetent, you don’t get a say.”  
  
“It’s my fucking kid too.” He argued, making my heart skip.  
  
“Okay.” Dad interrupted, setting his mug on the table more obnoxiously than necessary. “It’s clear that we’re still all over the place. I know Jack’s intentions, but I don’t know…”  
  
“AJ.” Jeremy finished for him, motioning towards Alex.  
  
“Alex.” Alex corrected, rolling his eyes. “It’s whatever. Jack’s decision.”  
  
“Jack.” Mom urged softly, starting up the soothing circles again.  
  
“Uh,” I stammered, ignoring the sinking feeling in my gut. “I think adoption.”  
  
“Okay, I was hoping for that.” Jeremy nodded, looking between all of us before settling on my mom and dad. “His dad and I don’t want him getting out of this scot-free, so we were thinking he’ll face the consequences just as Jack will the next few months.”  
  
“That’s fair.” Dad agreed. “I’m sure Jack won’t mind him attending appointments and I think they should both decide who to go with when it comes down to the big day.”  
  
“I don’t mind.” I confirmed quietly, nodding my head as I stared back at Alex. “He’s the other father.”  
  
“Okay, so Alex will attend Jack’s ultrasounds and such as well as the interviews we’ll be scheduling as soon as we fine an agency.” Mom summed up, patting my back. “It’s settled. I’ll let you know when his next appointment is.”  
  
“Okay.” Jeremy said, clearing his throat. “I say we get the process started asap. He’s what, four months?”  
  
“About three and a half.” Dad noted, pouring himself a cup of coffee. “I’ve actually called around a bit. I’m thinking we can get in to speak with somebody next week.”  
  
“Wow, okay.” Alex muttered, dropping his arms from his chest. “I need-”  
  
“Go start the car, AJ.” Jeremy interrupted, rolling his eyes. “Let me know when it warms up some.”  
  
“Yeah.” Alex mumbled, sliding out of the seat and leaving the kitchen without a glance back.  
  
I frowned, watching him walk in long strides before he was out of my sight.  
  
“You’ll let us know when and where?” Jeremy asked, back to sipping his tea.  
  
“As soon as we find out.” Mom replied, pulling her hand away from me. “Can I get you more tea?”  
  
“I’ll take a little more.” He nodded, holding the cup up for my mom to take as she stood up.  
  
I watched her walk bac to the stove with his cup, dropping my gaze back to the table when an unfamiliar phone vibrated consistently across the surface. Jeremy scooped it up, hurriedly swiping his finger along the screen and putting it to his ear.  
  
“Hey.” He greeted softly, clearing his throat. “They want to go with adoption too. No. Mhm. No, I sent him out to warm the car up. I don’t know Alex, he’s barely said a word to me since this morning.”  
  
I jumped, the clinking of the mug returning in front of Jeremy knocking me out of my eavesdropping. Sitting up straight, I pulled my snug t-shirt down as much as it would let me only for it to pop back up my stomach. Sighing, I watched my mom sit back down and bit at my cheek again.  
  
“Can I be excused?” I asked quietly, twiddling my fingers together.  
  
“Yes, baby.” She smiled, pressing a kiss to my temple. “Go relax.”  
  
I nodded, standing from my seat without a second to spare. I pushed the chair back in and gave my dad a little smile before hurrying around the table and out of the kitchen. Biting my lip, I walked through the foyer and grabbed my jacket from the hook instead of listening to my brain telling me to go straight to my room. Pulling my arms through, I slipped my feet into my moccasins and pulled the front door open. The wind hit my body full force, regret filling me immediately once I stepped out onto the porch. Despite the feeling filling my gut, I allowed my legs to carry me further outside until I saw the pickup truck I lost my sanity in two days ago. Shaking my head, I blinked and found myself standing outside of the driver side door. I looked through the window, jumping when I met Alex’s eyes immediately. Swallowing hard, I took a step back and watched thick smoke seep out as the window rolled down about half-way.  
  
“What the fuck are you doing?” He asked rudely, my driveway reeking of skunk. “Get back inside.”  
  
“I wa-wanted t-t-to see you.” I stuttered through my chattering teeth, blushing through the cold air. “I mean, s-see if you’re o-okay.”  
  
“I’m fine.” He sniped, the stick between his lips glowing bright orange as he breathed in.  
  
“Um,” I stammered, shrinking back from his glare. “you’re okay with this. The um, adoption. Right?”  
  
“I don’t fucking care.” He replied, flicking ashes out of the window. “You wanted to get rid of it either way.”  
  
“I don’t want to throw away my life.” I scowled, feeling tears burn the corners off my eyes from his sharp words. “You don’t have to be such an asshole to me.”  
  
“Did I hurt your feelin’s? Want me to kiss you better?” He asked, blowing out rings through his nostrils as he leaned outside of the window. “Bend you over my seat again since you like it so much?”  
  
I pressed my lips closed tightly, turning away from him without another word. Sniffling, I hurried back up the driveway and onto the porch. Once I knew I was clear from his view, I wiped the tears from my eyes and pulled the front door open hastily. Slamming it closed, I tossed my jacket over the railing of the staircase and kicked my shoes off before rushing up the stairs. Once I turned into my room, I slammed the door closed and let the tears run freely down my cheeks. Slumping over to my bed, I dropped down and crossed my legs underneath me. Pulling the collar of my shirt over my mouth, I tried to muffle the sounds of my crying while my heart sank even lower into my stomach. Covering my eyes, I fell back on my mattress and tried to think about anything other than how dirty Alex’s words just made me feel.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“What exactly is this for?” I asked, rocking my leg back and forth where it rested over my knee.  
  
“It’s a glucose test.” Mom repeated, flipping the page of her magazine. “Dr. Maurine wants to have it done because your blood pressure was sky-high our last visit, but that was probably because you were so worked up.”  
  
“I’m scared.” I admitted, picking at my lip lightly.  
  
“It’s just a test to check for diabetes, Jack.” She chuckled, patting my thigh. “It won’t hurt.”  
  
I sighed, leaning back in my seat while my gaze flickered back towards the entrance across the room. The automatic doors remained closed and I dropped my gaze down to my lap, studying the way the material of my mom’s leggings stretched over my knees while anxious butterflies fluttered around my stomach. Crossing my arms over my chest, I looked down at my belly and stared at the strip of skin sticking out from the hem of my shirt and the waistband of my leggings curving out between my hips. Biting my lip, I flickered my gaze back to the clock on the wall in front of us and towards the entrance again before staring down at my moccasins.  
  
“I’m thinking we can do something cute with the ultrasound pictures,” Mom started, pulling my attention to her. “you know? To tell everyone at Grandma and Grandpa’s on Thursday.”  
  
“That’s too sentimental.” I cringed, shaking my head. “I’m not keeping it.”  
  
“They still have to find out you’re pregnant.” She said calmly, turning onto another page of the magazine over her lap.  
  
I groaned, sinking even further into my seat as if it was possible. Lolling my head back, I closed my eyes and sucked in a deep breath.  
  
“They’re going to support you no matter what and you know that.” She reminded, patting my thigh. “Besides, you’ll love all of the pampering you’re going to get until you pop the sucker out.”  
  
I let out the breath I was holding, tilting my head over until my cheek fell onto her soft shoulder. Blinking my eyes back open, I stared down over her lap and scoffed lightly at the drama filling the pages.  
  
“Daddy set up an interview for the twenty-eighth.” She noted, kissing the top of my head. “Jeremy was right when he told me we’d get a lot of calls around this time of year.”  
  
“When did he tell you that?” I asked, scrunching my face up.  
  
“When you went to your room the other day.” She answered. “He apologized for being rude and pushing towards adoption, but he really believes that’s what’s best. I don’t really agree for the same reasons, but your happiness is most important to me.”  
  
“How is this so easy for you?” I wondered, sitting back up.  
  
“It’s not easy, baby.” She told seriously, meeting my eyes. “It’s not going to be easy either, but I’ve accepted it now. I may not get the blessing to cherish this grandchild, but I know you’ll give me some I can when you’re older and ready.”  
  
I looked away, her words stabbing me right in the heart. She didn’t mean any harm with them, but the way she sounded so sincere and supportive hit me hard. Biting the inside of my cheek, I tried to will the stinging in my eyes to go away and pulled my phone from my lap. Unlocking the screen, I pulled up Minion Rush and impatiently waited for my level to load while I blinked rapidly.  
  
“Jack Barakat?”  
  
I looked up, finding the nurse from the registration station leaning outside of her little window. She waved at me, brushing her blonde bangs from her face while she held a clipboard up in her free hand. I nudged my mom’s arm, looking over at her uncomfortably while she closed her magazine.  
  
“He should be registered.” Mom called, slipping the magazine back onto the table in front of us.  
  
“He is, but we need a few more things.” The nurse called quietly.  
  
“I’ll be right back.” Mom told, grabbing her purse from the floor and standing from her seat combined to mine.  
  
I nodded, going back to staring down at my phone screen. The level finally loaded, placing me on a beach and I quickly busied myself with trying to beat my high score of two hundred and seven bananas. I slid my thumb across the screen, cursing to myself while my stupid minion failed to dodge the bridge in his path.  
  
“This what you do for fun?”  
  
I gasped, scrambling to catch my phone before it could fly from my grip entirely. Gulping down a much-needed breath, I held my free hand over my thumping heart and looked over as Alex plopped into the seat beside me. I opened my mouth to shoot out a snarky reply, feeling my words get caught in my throat. I swallowed thickly, taking in the black nose ring matching the two lip rings through the side of his lip before my gaze caught onto the small black plugs in his exposed earlobes. Surprise filled me as I looked down, finding a black and dark blue plaid shirt over his chest paired with black ripped skinny jeans.  
  
“You’re wearing clothes.” I blurted, feeling my cheeks flush right after the words left my mouth.  
  
“Did you want me to be naked?” He retorted, leaning closer to me. “’cause that can be arranged.”  
  
“Never happening again.” I scoffed, quickly recovering from my embarrassment and crossing my arms over my chest.  
  
“Uh huh, sure.” He chuckled cockily.  
  
I tensed, something so good filling my nostrils while a light weight fell over my shoulders. Licking my lips, I glanced to my left and caught Alex’s hand hanging off my shoulder loosely.  
  
“Get your hands off me.” I hissed, leaning forward enough to knock his arm down.  
  
“You could’a just asked.” He replied cockily.  
  
“Asked?” I repeated, gasping when his hand slipped under my ass.  
  
I jumped, shoving his shoulder roughly before sliding back against the seat with a scowl. He laughed, crossing his arms over his chest while he slouched in the uncomfortable makeshift bench and I felt my scowl deepen. Rolling my eyes, I looked back over to where my mom stood in front of the front desk while I tried to calm the fluttering in my stomach.  
  
“I didn’t think you were gonna show.” I mumbled, picking at the hem of my t-shirt.  
  
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have to be.” He muttered back, making my heart pound painfully in my chest. “S’fuckin’ pointless anyway.”  
  
“Sorry.” I whispered, biting at my lip.  
  
“Jack?”  
  
I sat up straight, jumping up from my seat while my gaze shot towards the corner of the room where another nurse held a wide door open. I licked my lips, looking back at Alex and raising my eyebrows at his slumped form.  
  
“What?” He asked, raising his eyebrow right back.  
  
“We’re going back now.” I noted, slowly inching towards the open door.  
  
“Jack, Alex, come on.” Mom called.  
  
I turned my back on him, picking up my pace and walking over the threshold and into the hallway filled with offices. I zoned out, barely feeling the hand along my lower back as I walked forward. I stepped into room six with my ears ringing loudly, moving straight to the cot and sitting down on the loud paper strip covering it. I cleared my throat, rubbing my eyes a few times before I came back to reality.  
  
“We’re just going to get right into it.” Dr. Maurine said, closing the door behind her. “Oh, who’s this?”  
  
I fidgeted in my place on the cot, cringing at the wrinkling of the paper while my gaze flickered to the chairs to my left. I bit my lip harder, feeling my cheeks flush again when I found Alex sitting stiffly in the chair next to my mom.  
  
“This is the father.” Mom answered for him, giving Dr. Maurine a smile.  
  
“This is great.” She cheered, pulling the clipboard from the hook along the back of the door. “Alright.”  
  
She set the clipboard on the small counter across from me and shot me a quick smile before opening the cabinet above her head. I swung my feet anxiously, watching her pull an orange container down that looked like a kid’s juice barrel. She pulled the top off and popped the straw in, turning back to face me with a slight grimace.  
  
“This isn’t going to taste good, but you need to finish the whole thing.” She warned, holding it out to me.  
  
“Is it going to make me throw up?” I whined, reluctantly taking it from her.  
  
“Hopefully not.” She chuckled, patting my shoulder. “While you’re doing that, I’m going to need some information from your boyfriend.”  
  
“Not his boyfriend.” Alex corrected immediately.  
  
“Just the father.” Mom added in.  
  
“Oh,” Dr. Maurine smiled apologetically, picking up the clipboard. “Well, I need some information from the other father then.”  
  
I pulled the juice to my nose, sniffing lightly. I coughed, the sour smell very unsettling once it took over my senses. Grimacing, I stuck the straw in my mouth and took the world’s smallest sip. I pulled it away, immediately sticking my tongue out to rid the flavor and heard my mom’s laughter fill the room along with Dr. Maurine.  
  
“Just drink it, Jack.” Mom told. “Chug it down and it’ll be over.”  
  
“It’s disgusting.” I whined, sticking the straw back into my mouth no matter how much I didn’t want to.  
  
I sucked in a breath, hurriedly sucking some more of the horrid liquid down my throat before I had to breathe again. I panted lightly, sucking down a little bit more while Dr. Maurine flipped a few pages on her clipboard.  
  
“You’ll be on the birth certificate?” She questioned Alex.  
  
“Uh,” He stammered, looking over at me unsurely.  
  
I shrugged, fighting the urge to pull the straw out of my mouth and spit up the powdery-water like liquid filling my mouth.  
  
“Yes.” Mom answered for him, nodding her head.  
  
“Okay, in that case I need to know your name.” Dr. Maurine stated sitting down on her roll-stool.  
  
“Um, Alexander Gasakrth.” He answered.  
  
“Your full name.” Dr. Maurine corrected.  
  
“Alexander William Gaskarth Junior.” He retorted, rubbing the top of his black beanie.  
  
“Date of birth?” She asked.  
  
I closed my eyes, holding my breath while I painfully sucked the rest off the juice down. I gasped for breath dramatically, setting the empty carton beside my while I used the short sleeve of my t-shirt to wipe my tongue off. Hissing through my teeth, I rocked side to side a little and closed my eyes in attempt to force the sickness settling in my stomach to go away.  
  
“Okay Jack, I’m going to need you to take a deep breath and lay down on your back.” Dr. Maurine instructed. “I’m going to run copies of this paperwork and be right back.”  
  
I nodded my head, sucking in a long breath through my nose and slowly twisting until I could lay back against the propped back of the cot. I sighed, lifting my feet onto the little pegs at the end of the cot and pulling my shirt up instinctively.  
  
“Are you uh, getting another test?” Alex asked.  
  
“An ultrasound.” I answered shortly.  
  
“Does it hurt?” He asked.  
  
“No, it’s just a video showing us the baby is okay.” I responded boredly.  
  
“Oh.” He mumbled, going quiet.  
  
I stared at the ceiling awkwardly, resting my hands over my ribs with my shirt in my loose fists. The silence filling the room made me wish Alex would’ve just skipped out, but the door opening broke the tension and helped me breath again. The light dimmed before my eyes and the wheels of Dr. Maurine’s stool slid across the smooth floor loudly until I felt her hands over my abdomen.  
  
“Okay, remember it’s cold.” She warned, smoothing the gel around my lower stomach.  
  
I sucked in a sharp breath, relaxing a little more once I got used to it and tilting my head down enough to look at the wide screen against the wall.  
  
“We’re going to go through and take some measurements again, check the heartbeat and such.” She walked through, clicking a few buttons on her little machine until the black screen turned grey and white. “Once we’re finished, you’ll have to give a urine sample for the glucose results.”  
  
“Okay.” I agreed quietly, staring at the blobs blurring together on the screen as she moved the wand around.  
  
“Is there supposed to be something there?” Alex asked, leaning forwards more.  
  
“Here’s the head.” Dr. Maurine pointed out, circling her mouse around a darker shape. “And here’s a leg and another leg.”  
  
I blinked, looking away from the screen and stealing a glance to my left. I breathed in deeply, butterflies rushing through me at Alex’s concentrated expression. He kept forward, leaning on his knees while his eyes squinted at the screen. The wand moved more towards the side of my stomach, feeling slightly uncomfortable as she pressed down.  
  
“What was that?” Mom asked quickly.  
  
I shot my eyes back to the screen, my heart skipping a beat from the sound of her voice.  
  
“What?” I asked, leaning up a little more.  
  
“Relax, nothings wrong.” Dr. Maurine cooed, moving the wand right back to where she just had it. “Well, my oh my.”  
  
“What is it?” I asked again, furrowing my eyebrows.  
  
“There’s the head.” She repeated, circling her mouse around another lighter shade of gray before moving to a darker one and circling it. “And there’s the other head.”  
  
“What?” Alex choked out, my heart leaping into my throat while he fell into a coughing fit. “Oh shit.”  
  
“Congratulations,” Dr. Maurine cheered. “you’re carrying twins.”


End file.
